A Pictures Worth
by BluLady
Summary: Sirius, Remus and Hermione look through old pictures taking a trip down memory lane whilst getting steadily drunker. Rated M for later chapters and because of my characters use of "Bad Language"
1. Prologue

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognise, unfortunately! _

**A.N Big, huge, just plain massive props to .net/u/1613656/Scandalacious_Intentions**

**For lending me her idea of using photographs to tell a story. If you haven't read her work yet click away from this story and do it...now...I'm serious....Her writing is amazing and makes mine look like a six year old wrote it.**

A Pictures Worth...

Sirius took the offered photograph from mad eye, a gust of wind leaving his lungs when he recognised the picture instantly. The original order. He looked to the back of the smiling occupants and sure enough there was James and Lily with their arms around Pettigrew. No wonder Harry left in a hurry. His stomach felt hollow as he looked upon the smiling faces of his closest friends. How were they to know one of their own would betray them, sending them all to an early grave?

There he was to the right of James, his arm around Dorcas and if he looked to the front, yes. There was Lupin peering around the Longbottoms trying to catch a glimpse of Marlene. He took a deep shuddering breath trying to steady himself. He felt a hand on his shoulder and tuned to find Remus giving him a sympathetic smile and gesturing towards the door.

He followed out into the hall where Mad-Eye was waiting silently beckoning them to follow. Harry stood in the doorway shouting at Molly to leave. Sirius looked to him in confusion before taking in the scene before him. Lying on the ground in front of Molly was the bloodied corpse of his godson. He couldn't move, he felt as though his insides had turned to stone.

Remus took charge banishing the boggart and calming Molly down.

"Sirius?"

"Yea?" he snapped out of his reverie still staring at the same spot on the floor.

"Are you ok?"

"Fine...Harry?"

"He was a bit shocked but he'll be fine." Remus assured him still looking at him in concern. He didn't say anything else just nodded and followed him down to the almost empty kitchen. Only Tonks remained, wishing to say goodnight to Remus before she left.

"I'll leave you to it" Sirius mumbled grabbing a bottle of firewhisky and retiring to the library.

He opened the door and threw himself onto a couch beside the fire, a movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention.

"Hermione?" he called seeing the girl creep towards the door.

"Sorry...I was just leaving, I didn't mean to disturb you" she smiled serenely.

"Don't leave because of me." He muttered.

"No really, I was just leaving."

"Stop being so damn polite and sit down." He barked taking a swig from his bottle.

She sat down, her mouth opening in a small O of surprise.

A soft knock on the door sounded and Remus poked his head through the small gap. "Everything alright?"

"Yea" Sirius sighed putting his head in his hands.

"I thought I might find you here."

"I'd forgotten" he sounded disgusted with himself.

"Its ok Pads-"

"No Moony, it's not." He accio'd a worn battered black photo album off a shelf.

"I should go..."

"No Hermione, really. I'm sorry for snapping."

"Might as well pull up a cushion and grab a butterbeer, it's going to be a long trip" Remus muttered ominously conjuring up a bottle of firewhisky for himself.

"Trip?"

"Down memory lane" he clarified with a small smile.

A.N so...what do you think? Want to read more?


	2. The Squirrel formally known as Blondie

**A.N Sorry this took so long to update crazy couple of weeks with interviews for college and then my little sister spilled coke all over my baby (my laptop) and killed it. Needless to say I cried for about an hour.**

**Special thanks again to ScandaliciousxIntentions for the inspiration =].**

**Disclaimer: Nope...still don't own any of it.**

The first picture depicted a much younger Remus, screaming silently up out of the photograph, a look of pure terror on his face and a petit blonde witch laughing with her arms wrapped around him. They were standing in an old fashioned living room in front of a blazing fire.

"Ah yes, the night Moony discovered he _wasn't_ into Bestiality." Sirius snickered into his bottle.

"I'm sorry, what?" she asked sure she'd misheard.

"Trust you to make it sound perverted." Remus rolled his eyes exasperated.

"It's a gift" he smiled with pride.

"Git. I'd been living back in my mother's cottage since school ended..."

_School had ended two weeks ago and Remus was already missing the old castle. Hogwarts had been his home for the last seven years, were he had found refuge, acceptance and most importantly the best friends a boy could ever ask for. Although he was a bit miffed at said friends for the moment. He hadn't seen any of them and had only received a letter from Lily this week, planning a quick visit. He knew they were busy. Peter had swanned off to his uncles place in Derry for a few weeks, Sirius was presumably still off on his highly public bender hoping to infuriate his already furious family and James was busy with Lily and the order they had joined the day after graduation. Already he felt abandoned. He knew it would never last in "the real world"._

_He was desperately lonely in the old cottage. He had never really liked it. They had moved here when he had been bitten. It wasn't an extraordinary house by any means but it was surrounded by forest in the middle of nowhere, far from prying eyes or innocent victims. He was guaranteed not to harm anyone if he escaped during a full moon. He'd had no friends then so he didn't know what he had been missing, but now he did and he despised the place more than ever. His mother had moved in with her sister after his father died so the place has a desolate air surrounding it. He wondered briefly if this was how prison would feel._

_On the third week a snow white squirrel appeared in his attic. At first he had thought it to be a patronus, so eerily pale was it. When he realised it was just a normal albino squirrel, he set about trying to get rid of it. He tried a cage filled with peanut butter, but it remained untouched. He tried an exterminator to no avail. He even tried chasing it but it ran him ragged. Eventually he gave up. The damn squirrel could stay. He decided to keep it as a type of pet. _

_As it turned out it was the best thing he could have done. The squirrel was great company. He decided to name her Blondie after she went wild upon hearing one of her namesake's songs on the radio. Blondie really was a beautiful creature. She was friendly and good natured and fellow chocolate fanatic. She was also an avid listener, he found himself opening up to her unlike any one he had before in his life. He told her about his loneliness, his fear of being abandoned and told her all about his friends. Surprisingly he didn't feel crazy recounting these tails to her. He was sure she really was listening._

_He had made the mistake of telling his friends about his new friend when last he wrote to them. James suggested he move in with him and Lily that the fresh air and countryside wasn't agreeing with him. Sirius merely pointed out a long stay in St. Mungos might be in order. He had rolled his eyes at both their replies. They just didn't understand, they didn't know Blondie like he did. Merlin. Maybe he was nuts. He wondered to himself as he absentmindedly scratched Blondie behind the ears. _

_A knock on the door broke him out of his reverie. He picked up his wand and eyed it suspiciously. He wasn't expecting company. _

"_Remus open the door, I'm freezing." A quiet voice called from the other side._

"_Lily?" he asked his voice shaking slightly._

"_No it's the tooth fairy."_

"_In what way did Mary refer to me in second year?"_

"_As my straight, gay best friend. James misheard and he and Sirius planned an intervention later that night wanting to know was there something you weren't telling them."_

_He opened the door and she hurried in pulling down her hood and standing in front of the fire warming her hands._

"_You couldn't think of a shorter question?" she asked grinning._

"_I panicked." He shrugged. "What are you doing here this late?"_

"_You need to pack up, I'm taking you back to London with me."_

_He stared at her uncomprehending._

"_Honestly Remus, you really are quite dense sometimes. You're being followed, it's not safe for you here."_

"_By Him?" he asked fearfully throwing a furtive look out the window._

"_Yes by some death eaters and Marlene."_

"_Marlene?"_

"_McKinnon. Hufflepuff graduated two years ahead of us."_

"_And why is she following me?"_

"_Dumbledore's orders."_

_He nodded absentmindedly as a movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention._

"_Of course how rude of me. Lily Blondie, Blondie Lily." He introduced._

"_We've met." Lily smiled her eyes twinkling as she took out a camera from her cape pocket. _

"_Say Cheese" a sweet voice demanded from behind him, wrapping their arms around his middle._

_There was a flash of light and a scream followed by hysterical laughter. He didn't understand it at all. Why was Lily just standing there laughing while he got attacked?_

_She stopped laughing long enough to choke out a few words._

"_Remus meet Marlene, the squirrel formally known as Blondie." She indicated the petit blond witch behind him smiling sheepishly. He shook her hand weakly._

"_You've spent too much time with James."_

"_Indeed. Now come on we have to get going before anyone comes to investigate the ruckus."_

_She threw some floo powder into the fire and she and Marlene stepped into the flames calling out Lily's address. He followed behind them, still gobsmacked._

"She arrived back ad announced to the whole order you had screamed like a bitch." Sirius howled with laughter.

"I told you she'd spent too much time with James."

"Oh come on, it wasn't her fault you'd fallen for an over sized rat."

"She was a squirrel!"

"Difference?"He smirked taking a swig of firewhiskey.

"They're cuter" Remus pouted as Sirius spit out the swig he had just taken and fell into fits of laughter again.

Hermione hastily turned the page.

"As I recall Padfoot, I wasn't the only one that screamed like a girl" he smiled smugly at the picture as Sirius let out a low groan.


	3. Bananas and Gas bills

**wow I did not realise I had left this story for so long. My passion for writing deserted me for a little while there... long story short i'm not good with change or goodbyes...**  
**anyway on with the story.**  
**As always I don't own anything other than a warped imagination and special thanks to Candy cause she's awesome!**

Hermione looked from the picture before her to its inhabitant in amusement. It showed a young, devilishly handsome Sirius Black in a hospital gown having a show down with a tall, raven haired stunningly pretty healer, with cheekbones to die for.

"Sirius...why are you waving a banana at that healer?"  
"Because she was the devil!"  
"Funny that, you always swore you're mother was the devil." Remus injected "Well yes, true. She was pure evil at any rate."  
"So you thought you'd ward off evil with a high fibre fruit?"

_Life was just one big party since he graduated. No parents, no teachers, no rules. He was finally living life the way he had wanted to...for the most part. He had been convinced moving Moony in with him would be just like being back at Hogwarts. How wrong he was._  
_In Hogwarts they never had to worry about the cooking, cleaning or bills. It seemed like all they did was bicker and honestly neither of them could take it any more._

_"Are you going out again?" the incredulous voice floated out from the living room._  
_"Why yes mother, I do believe I am." he replied flippantly._  
_"Don't you compare me to that hag!"_  
_"Then stop behaving like one" childish he knew, but he was sick of being treated like a five year old._  
_"You've been out every night this week. Shouldn't you be keeping a low profile?"_  
_"Moony, Moony, Moony... Lifes too short to keep looking over your shoulder. One day you'll wake up an old man and wonder what happened to your life." he clapped a hand on Remus' shoulder and pulled on his old leather jacket._  
_"We have bills to pay!"_  
_"Who needs gas any way? We're wizards for christs sake!"_  
_"But we live in a muggle neighbourhood."_  
_"Why still escapes me."_  
_"For you're safety, which you are totally disregarding, idiot."_  
_"Enjoy your night" he grinned closing the door on the indignant mutter of "tosser" and ambled down the street to where the wards ended so he could apparate._

_He felt rather than saw his attackers. No one else could make him feel as ill at ease as his dear cousin. It was as of a deathly sickness clung to the air around her. She wouldn't come alone though. They were too evenly matched when it came to duelling, as they had proved in their fifth and sixth years. She was too valuable to that other phsyco to even risk getting exterminated. He knew he had only time for one spell. A burst of silver light shot forth from his wand as a littany of spells hit him at once. His last concious thought being that of Moony struggling to pay the bills without him and having to move back into that pit of despair._

_It was too bloody bright. The sunlight crept through his closed eyelids leaving him feeling as though his retinas had been burned off. "Fuck sake Moony close the curains" he mumbled throwing a hand over his eyes. His head still felt foggy. What the hell had he done last night? He could feel someone standing over him. He was not in the mood for one of Remus' lectures right now. He opened an eye groggily and stared right into an astonishingly pretty face that he recognised instantly. She had her wand pointed to his throat._  
_He did the first ting that sprang to mind and screamed grabbing the nearest weapon to him and backed up against the wall._  
_This is how Remus, James, Peter and Lily came to find him standing in a hospital gown waving a banana at the healer put in charge of him. Peter quickly tok a snap, knowing no one would believe them without evidence._

_"We heard a woman scream, what did you do to her padfoot?" James demanded torn between shock and amusement._  
_"Actually, that was him." the healer smirked leaning against the door frame._  
_"That was you screaming?"_  
_"She was trying to kill me!"_  
_"I was checking your vitals."_  
_"A likely 't you know who she is? She's a Meadowes! One of his lot!"_  
_"Oh for heavens sake Sirius Black get over yourself. As infuriating as you are, killing you isn't worth losing my job." she rolled her eyes._  
_"Job?" he repeated dumbly._  
_"Im a healer you dunce, Merlin I can see you've about as much brains as you ever did."_  
_"You know each other?"Lily enquired amazed._  
_"We were playmates before Hogwarts."_  
_"Before she became a snake and crossed over to the dark side!"_  
_"You are so dramatic." she pulled up the sleeves of her uniform. "You aren't the only one to reject the old ways." She turned to storm off back to the nurses station to write her report._  
_"Let me take you to dinner" he, as usual, blurted the first thing to pop into his head. "I'll make it worth you're while" he winked._  
_"Don't flatter yourself sweetheart. I wear heels bigger than your knob...and I wear flats" she called back smirking as she ducked into the office._  
_"Wow Pads. I think you've finally met your match"_

"I had been out cold for five days and not one ounce of sympathy did i get," the present day Sirius sulked opening another botle of whiskey.  
"Well excuse us for not coddling you when it was your own stupidity that got you in trouble in the first place."  
"SO did she go for dinner with you in the end?" Hermione asked looking hopeful."  
"Of course. No one can resist the old Black charm."  
"Oh please, more like he harrased the poor girl til she caved in for some piece and quiet."  
"Same difference."


	4. Exposure

**I know another update =O...what can I say, I got my groove back =P As always I don't own either of the devilishly handsome marauders =[ _**

Hermione turned the page and was surprised to find herself staring at a newspaper clipping instead of a photo like she expected.  
"You atually kept the blasted artical?" Remus scanned through it bemused.  
"Of course, I had to now what my adoring public thought."  
"Adoring public?" Hermione asked leaning over Sirius shoulder to read the artical.  
"Being a Black, my name and face had been splashed all over the scoiety pages since conception" he pulled a face. "Up untl his point I hadn't cared what they wrote about me. I mainly courted the press to piss off my mother."  
"Until this point?"  
"Yes. Mindless, social climbing bimbos never bothered me, but when it came to my friends..."  
"Pads has a fierely protective side...which somehow manifests itself in making an even bigger spectacle of us than begins with..."

_"Moony! She said yes!" Sirius burst into the living room completly disregarding the two occupants jumping away from each other mid embrace._  
_"Can't you knock?" an irritable growl greeted him._  
_"Can't you use your bedroom?" Sirius shot back grinning like a maniac._  
_"Like it would make a difference where you're concerned."_  
_"It's not like you're up to anything I havn't seen or done before. Hello Marlene" he grinned at the blushing blonde trying to dsappear into the couch. "But you're distracting me. She said yes!"_  
_"So I gathered."_  
_"We're going for dinner-"_  
_"Lovely."_  
_"Tonight-"_  
_"Very good."_  
_"And you to are comming with us."_  
_"That's-What!"_  
_"You and Marlene are joining us for dinner in the Tratto"_  
_"But thats almost impossible to get a reservation in!" Marlene gasped sittin up straight in the chair._  
_"Only the best for the two most beautifl witches in all of England."_  
_"God you're really laying it on thick there. Why do you need us there? What if we already have plans?"_  
_"Do you?"_  
_"Well...no."_  
_"Well thats settled then. We're leaving at eight." he bounced out of the room humming to himself._

_"I'm not going."_  
_"Sirius,it took you three months to wear her down enough to agree to this dinner. You're going."_  
_"But erythings going wrong! My favourite jeans are in the wash, my hair just wont go right-"_  
_"Stop being such a bloody girl. You have five minutes to get ready then we're leaving. Got that?"_  
_"But what if she doesn't show up? Or she hates it...or hates me...what if its just a joke."_  
_"Merlin Pads, you have the cheek to call me neurotic? She'll be there, she'll love it, she'll fall for your rogue like charm and be completely under your spell by the end of the night. Who can resist you. You're Sirius Black, sex god."_  
_"You're right!"_  
_"Narcassist" he slapped his best friend on the back playfully. "Now come on or we'll be late."_

_"Stop fidgiting. Come on. Screw your courage to the sticking place."_  
_"What?"_  
_"Never mind. Look there they are." he pushed his way through the crowd congregated outside the restaraunt. Marlene dressed in Blue stood beside Dorcas in green, both easily standing out from the rest of the crowd around them._  
_"Fitting" he smirked. Remus just shook his head._  
_He offered her his arm and proceeded to guide her to the door stopping when a flash of light blinded him._

_"Mr Black!"_  
_"Sirius!"_  
_"Look here"_  
_"Over here please"_  
_"Who is you're charming date this evening?"_

_"Shit" he growled pulling Dorcas behind him, shielding her from view. "Bloody reporters."_  
_Remus caught up to him with Marlene looking like a deer in the headlights._  
_"I hadn't counted on this. Get them out of here Remus." he nodded and grabbed both women by the wrist and pulled them away._

_"Was that the Meadowes girl?"_  
_"A pure blood?"_  
_"Your mother would be proud."_

_That did it. He snapped. Remus grimaced and told both girls to go home, appologising profously and promising a rain check._

_"My mother can go to hell. Incase you hadnt noticed Miss Meadowes wasn't the only one who's company I was availing of tonight." he turned to Remus. "This gorgeous wizard was here also! Now keep your nose out of my business before I hex you all into next week."_  
_"Come on Padfoot, we have to go." Remus began pulling him away from the screaming reporters and flashing lights._

_"Sirius!"_  
_"Mr. Black-"_

_They apparated back to their apartment._

_"Well...that went well."_  
_"Piss off Remus."_

_The next morning an owl woke up an irate Sirius. He took the letter, watching the owl take off without awaiting a reply. It was a small, unmarked envelope. Inside was a newspaper clipping and a small piece of parchment folded in half._

_He picked up the clipping first quickly reading through it, torn between amusement and exasperation._

_"Another night out on the town seemed to be the order of the day for the eldest, wayward son of Orion and Walbura Black. As usual, yet another stunning witch dangled from his arm like a Christmas bauble. The difference this time being that it was Dorcas Meadowes the youngest daughter of Lycorous and Sophia Meadowes, a most suitable match for young sirius. But before we offer our heartiest congradulations it would appear all is not as it seems as he later went on to declare is undying love for the "Gorgeous Wizard" pictured next to him. We can only hope, for his families sake, he gets his affairs in order and we eagerly await our invitaion to what would undoubtably be, the socialite wedding of the year."_

_He opened up the parchment wondering who could have sent him the ridiculous clipping and chuckled quietly to himself his good mood restored._

_"I wanted to be the first to congradulate the happy couple. Dibs on maid of honour at the Black-Lupin wedding of the year!...Next time, we're eating in!_  
_Dorcas."_


	5. The Weekend That Got Away

**Another update!...My family is on holiday, I've lots of time to myself ^^.**  
**I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my best friend Colin, who has emmigrated over to England (Bournemouth) and left me in this hell hole! I miss you dude! And I'd like to say a huge thank you to Candy for her reviews...for some reason I can't review or reply so I'll just put my love here...I squee like a fangirl everytime iI get a review...honestly its going to get me sanctioned ^^!**  
**Disclaimer: If I owned Sirius or Remus trust me, I'd be doing far, far more interesting things than writing!**

"Aww thats a sweet picture" Hermione smiled. Remus and Marlene were sitting on a pier wrapped around each other just staring out to sea.  
Sirius chuckled quietly. "Pictures can be deceiving." She had just been about to ask what that cryptic remark meant, then stopped seeing the exprssion on Remus' face.  
"Bloody Bournemouth" Remus growled grabbing a bottle, taking a huge swallow and nearly choking on it.

_It had been two weeks since the artical claiming he was gay had made its debut. Two long weeks. For Gods sake even Peter was taking the mickey out of him! Worse than that were the disappointed looks from both his mother and Dumbledore. He, or rather Sirius, had made a very public spectacle of themselves. It didnt bode well for his family or the order. His mood had been pretty irate the last few days and for once it had nothing to do with the moon._  
_Marlene, having been offended at first by his attitude, realised he needed to get away from London for a while. He gladly welcomed the suggestion and had his bag packed and the car he'd "borrowed" from his muggle neighbours outside her house within the hour. It was a sickly green Corvair Monza and at least a decade old. But it ran and that was all that mattered._  
_"Someones eager to get going."_  
_"You have no idea" he smiled easily, visably relaxing as they drove south of London._

_Marlene sat back in her seat enjoying the ride and twiddled the dial on the radio, beaming when the wheedling voice of Olivia Newton John came out of the speakers and began singing along to "Summer Nights"._  
_"Summer days drifting away but ah-why aren't you singing?"_  
_"I'm not singing along to **that**!"_  
_"But it's Grease! Everyone loves Grease."_  
_"Well I don't. Give me the sex pistols any day over that sh-"_  
_"Wheres your sense of romance?"_  
_"Apparently it went for a holiday with your taste in music."_  
_The rest of the car journey was spent in relative silence apart from the occasional huff from Marlene. This wasn't how he pictured their first weekend away together. He was just about to appologise and lie through his teeth about the blasted film to keep her happy, when the engine start spluttering._  
_"Oh shit" he fumed slamming his fists against the steering wheel when the engine died completely. He turned the key muttering to himself and praying, against all odds, that it would turn over. It wasn't happening._  
_"Fuck!"_  
_"Can't you fix it?"_  
_"Does it look like I can fix it?"_  
_"I was just asking!"_  
_"I know, sorry" he sighed wiping his fringe from his eyes. "We're going to have to push."_  
_"What?"_  
_"I don't know what I'm doing and don't want to damage the car further with an inaccurate spell."_  
_"But it's two miles to the nearest town"_  
_"Fine you stay here and I'll go get a mechanic."_  
_"I'm not staying here on my own!"_  
_"Well we can't leave the car and I can't bloody well push it on my own!"_  
_He was relieved when she reluctantly agreed and got out to push with him._  
_"Look at it this way" he said brighty. "What else could possibly go wrong?"_  
_The heavens opening and the icy glare were all he needed to know he should keep his mouth shut the rest of the walk. God clearly hated him._

_It was dark and they were soaked through and ravenous when they reached a small guest house on the outskirts of Bournemouth. "Abby View" guest house was run by an Irish widow in her late sixties by the name of Mrs. O'Keeffe. She was small and slight, but still somehow managed to strike the fear of God into Remus when he saw her. It was the eyes. Icy blue and insightful, clearly nothing would escape her notice._  
_She stood in the hallway taking in their dishevilled appearence before ushering them into the house._  
_"Jesus, Mary and Holy Saint Joseph" she rattled off quickly blessing herself. "get in before you catch your death." She showed them into the small, clean kitchen and sat them at a scrubbed wooden table placing a steaming bowl of stew and slice of bread in front of each of them._  
_"Eat that up now and I'll get both your rooms set up for the night."_  
_"Thats ok. We'll only be needing one" Remus ventured, sounding braver than he felt._  
_"Are ye married boy?" She eyed him beadily, daring him to lie._  
_"No but-"_  
_"Then ye won't be sharing a room in my house ye hear me?"_  
_He nodded mutely and start spooning his supper into his mouth._  
_When they had eaten their fill, Mrs. O'keeffe showed them to their rooms. Remus was to stay on the third floor while Marlene was on the second._  
_"My rooms right down the hall from ye pet if ye need anything" She told Marlene kindly but Remus caught the concealed threat. "I'll be watching you. No funny business." He climbed into bed feeling highly dejected and only hoped that the next day would be better._

_The next day the weather was as miserable as the day before but they decided to venture out into the town none the less. There was a fair b te beach and they decided to make a day of took turns trying to dunk the "village idiot" into the tank. "Theres a job for Sirius" Marlene had commented brightly. He had to agree. It rained on and off but didn't dampen their spirits as they ate candy floss and he won her a stuffed bear. The day was going perfectly up until they bumped into an old friend._  
_"Emmeline! Fancy seeing you here." Marlene beamed._  
_Emmeline merely glared at them before hissing "You both should be ashamed."_  
_"Pardon?" Remus enquired sure he'd misheard. "Parading around the place like it's nobodies business. I told him You'd break his heart!" finally an inkling of what her little outburst was about began to sink in. Just when he had forgotten._  
_"Emmeline" he sighed wearily. "Sirius and I are not a couple."_  
_"LIAR" You're not fit to lick the mud from his boots" she screeched before slapping him accross the face and storming off._  
_"What the hell was that all about?"_  
_"Emmeline Vance, president of the Sirius Black fan club."_  
_" me see your eye" she soothed turing his cheek to face her._  
_"Just leave it." he mutered darkly._  
_"But it's already swelling."_  
_"I SAID LEAVE IT" he roared._  
_"You know what Remus, I'm sick of this. I knew you were down in London so I suggested getting away to clear your head, but all you've down is complain and shout. When you change your attitude you know where to find me," she choked out between sobs before turning and running away._  
_"Marlene...MARLENE COME BACK" he he called before suddenly becomming aware of how public their little spat had been and ducked into a nearby tent to escape the accusing galres._

_"You are a very troubled young man." a lazy voice drifted from the back of the tent. He squinted a bit before seeing a lady draped in shalls shuffling a tarot deck. Fantastic. Just what he needed._  
_"Eh right, sorry I didn't mean to come in here."_  
_"But you did. Everything happens for a reason. Now that your here, why dont I tell you a bit about yourself."_  
_"No thanks." he snorted backing out of the tentas quick as he could._  
_"He's mad who trusts in the tameness of a wolf, Mr Lupin." she smiled then turned on the spot apparating away._  
_He gaped at the spot then turned and ran as fast as his legs would cary him back to Abby View._  
_"Marlene!" he called breathlessly as he burst through the front door._  
_"She's not here boy." a stern voice reprimanded him._  
_He turned in Mrs O'keeffes directon then crumpled on the floor. He couldn't take much more of this. it was all too much. The war, the death sentance hanging over his friends, the only family he had. His fear of his Lycanthropy taking over, his fear for Marlenes safety. But worst of all the fear that she might leave him for someone whole._

_Mrs. O'Keeffes eyes softened for the first time since he had gotten there._  
_"Ah, come on now pet. It can't be as bad as all that." she soothed as she poured him a glass of sherry._  
_"I've lost her." he choked out before swallowing his drink._  
_"Nonsense. I've seen the way she looks at you." she smiled refilling his glass and taking a sip of her own._  
_"I messed up, I've been a total idiot."_  
_"Your only human" he had to laugh at that and downed another glass. They sat like that drinking together for a few hours. She, constantly reassuring him while he just sunk deeper and deeper into self pity._  
_"Do something romantic! Let her know what she means to you" Mrs O'Keeffe ordered before dozing off in her armchair. She was right. He took off down the beach, finding her sitting on the pier watching the ebb and flow of the tide._  
_"Marlene! There you are!"_  
_"Are you drunk?"_  
_"Yes, I believe so."_  
_"Just brilliant Remus." she stood up brushing the dust from her skirt._  
_"Just hear me out! I Love You ok and I'm an idiot. But I need you in my life. You're the reason I'm such an idiot and I wouldnt change that anymore than I would change Sirius' narcassistic tendencies, or James' arrogance or Peter's...or Peter! I want you with me always so please, please...will you Marlene Mckinnon marry me?"_  
_"No."_  
_"No?"he was confused._  
_"No."_  
_"But why?"_  
_"Because you're drunk and you'll realise in the morning how idiotic you sound right now."_  
_"But..I Love You."_  
_"I Love You too Remus, but you're being ridiculous."_  
_"ok." She sat back down beside him and he put his arms around her. They looked so picturesque that a nearby muggle tourist took a photo of them and gave it to them smiling._  
_"At least we can pretend when we get home that we had a romantic break" she smiled._  
_"I bloody hate Bournemouth"_  
_"I know."_


	6. Sometimes, violence is the answer

**This chapter just went in a completely diferent direction to the one i was going to write...**  
**3 as always to candy ^^ **

**Disclaimer: I'll make you a deal. I get to keep them, for one night, in exchange for my conscience...*sigh* no didn't really think it would work.**

Hermione hurridly turned the page startled when Remus laughed aloud. The picture showed Sirius trying to stem a bloody nose and Remus looking ashamed while Marlene berated him.

"Lucky shot." Sirius grumbled running a finger over the brige of his nose.

"You deserved it." Remus took a sip of whiskey looking extremely smug.

"I _did not_!"

"How did you even get this picture?"

"Nicked it" he smiled completely unashamed.

_It was a rare occurence in the Back-Lupin household. Sirius was lying quietly on the couch while Remus was fussing like a mother hen. If he hadn't be in such a foul mood he'd have found it quite endearing. They really were beginning to act more and more like an old married couple._  
_"Oh cheer up Padfoot. You're so crabby lately." He joked._

_"I wonder why...could it possibly be that I nearly died the other night? Or that my friends dont even care enough to pretend they're concerned? Or-"_

_"Or you're just sulking because you got rejected?"_

_"I was NOT rejected. She's just playing hard to get" He sniffed in a dignified manner._

_"Face it you were rejected. She said she'd rather Peter."_

_"Ouch." He watched Remus bang around the kitchen making tea."So...have you heard from Blondie?" The resulting crash answered his query plenty._

_"No. I havent seen her since I left my mothers." He replied quietly handing Sirius a steaming cup._

_"What, she didnt write back to your owl that time?"_

_"You did send the owl? Remus?"_

_"No."_

_"You didnt send the owl? After you spent two days tryng to come up with something and I quote "breezy yet witty"." Sirius scowled. For a Gryffindor he was a bloody coward sometimes._

_He didnt answer, just stared into his tea._

_"Right thats it! Remus John Lupin this is an intervention."_

_"Shouldn't all my friends and loved ones be here?"_

_"Apparently I care about you the most-"_

_"Depressing." He sighed placing down his cup._

_"Shut up. Anyway like I was saying before you so rudely interrupted. You're being completely unreasonable, stalking around this house in a gloomy manner, snapping at any helpful suggestions-"_

_"Take your broom from out your arse isnt a helpful suggestion."_

_"So I've decided. You are going to write a lovely letter to McKinnon asking her to dinner-"_

_"I can't just ask her to dinner!"_

_Sirius sighed knowing what was to come before he even asked. "Why ever not?"_

_"Because I'm a freak! An abnormality. Why the hell would she ever go for someone like me, someone broken feared and loathed by the wizarding community. It would make her an out cast to even her own family! She's beautiful and pure and doesnt deserve to be put through that hell. Why would she choose a life like that when she could find someone whole, who'll be able to provide for her and protect her. Face it she'd be better off with anyone else." He had stood up and began pacing the dingy living room, gesturing wildly to get his point accross further._

_"Are you done? Good. Now listen good, you know how much I hate repeating myself. Stop being a bloody idiot! Give her a chance to prove she's not a shallow bitch! You push people away without letting them close enough to make up their own minds. You tried to do it with me, Prongs and Wormtail and if we hadn't fought you every step of the way, you'd still be sitting in your mothers helping her with knitting patterns!" He stood up grabbing his best friend by the shoulder and shaking him lightly._

_"But that was different.."_

_"How? How was that different?"_

_"Because we were a bunch of idiotic, naive twelve year old boys! I didnt consider dating any of you, never put you into that situation where you were forced to choose between me and well...everything else!"_

_"Why does there have to be a choice?"_

_"There just does. Face it Sirius...not everything turns out roses for everyone." With that he turned and walked out of the house to clear his head._

_Sirius sighed and shook his head. For someone with such a high intelligence, Moony really was a dolt. He'd just have to fix it for him._

_A few days later he found himself in the little cafe accross from Fortescues, ordering a pot of tea while he waited for Remus to turn up. The little bell on the door twinkled and he turned around hoping to see the late marauder. To his surprise and delight he found himself staring at Marlene. Thinking up a plan he put his thumb and middle finger in his mouth letting out a shrill whistle._  
_"Oi! Mckinnon!" he waved her over smiling cheerily. This had better work._

_Remus rushed up Diagon Ally. He was late and really had no excuse. He had dozed off on the couch and only awoken ten minuets before he was due for tea. He slowed as he neared the cafe and opened the door, their laughter reaching his ears before he saw them. A perfect mixture of baritone and soprano. Light and dark. Heaven and Hell. They sat in the corner and he watched in slow motion as that bloody bastard Black smoothed a stray curl behind her ear. Something in him snapped. He walked right up to the table and lifted Sirius into a standing position before punching him right on the nose._

_"Moony! What the bloody hell was that for?"_

_"You're supposed to be my best friend!"_

_"I am!"_

_"Christ Sirius, I know you're a complete horndog but really this is low even for you!" He was almost in tears._

_"Honestly, you have it all wrong-"_

_"When I said I'd rather her with anyone else, I really should have tacked onto the end: except you! Because really Sirius I'd rather kill you!"_

_"Oh Remus do be quiet, you're causing a scene" a quiet, lilting voice hissed from behind him._

_"But-"_

_"Enough! I don't know who the hell you think you are comming in here and accusing me and Sirius here of all sorts when really we were just talking about you and how you're too big of a coward to ask me out yourself so he was doing it for you! So how do you thank him? you storm in her with a face like thunder breaking his nose and completely mortifying me. You should be ashamed."_

_A flash of light and a click caught their attention._  
_Mr. Morrisey stood glaring with a picture in his hand. "I think you all should leave. And your picture is going up on the "barred wall". We no longer accept your custom."_

_She threw one final look of disgust at him before storming off down the street._

_"Well? What are you looking at me for go after her!"_

_Remus sprinted catching up with her easily outside of Ollivanders._  
_"Look Marlene I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking. I really like you and well I suppose Sirius already filled you in on that-"_

_"Yes, he did. He's a really good man Remus. I thought you were too-"_

_"I am! I just let my jealousy get the better of me. Just please. Let me make it up to you. Let me take you to dinner tomorrow night."_

Hermione looked at him expectantly. "So? What did she say?"


	7. Sunflowers and Cockroach Clusters

**This is my last update for a couple of days! Me and a couple of the girls are going on a week long camping trip...in the lashings of rain... i should be home by tomorrow night xD**

**I realy am awful at replying to reviews so please forgive me if I just put my love for you here! Soooo big hugs and much love to the wonderful candy aka scandaliciousxintentions who finds the time to not only post her own work, but comment after every chapter AND reply to her reviews aswell...Truely legendary! And a massive thank you to hunterofartemis109 who's simple words made me smile.**

Sirius grinned. "She said yes of course! No one can resist the charms of myself or Remus. But combined..."

"That poor helpless girl" Hermione giggled knowing only too well the hold both men had over many of the Orders' female population. She glanced at the picture accross the way from the last one. "Sirius...why is there a sunflower growing out of the side of your head in this one?"

"Because they're obnoxious, like me, apparently. An extension of myself if you will."

"Right?"

"One of my many failed attempts at wooing Dorcas." he smiled affectionately.

APW

_"Healer Meadowes to reception please." Sirius grinned greatfully at the welcome witch behind the counter. She really was quite adorable, reminded him a bit of Nymphadora actually._

_She rounded the corner and he strolled up to her. "For you" he murmered holding out a small boquet of three bright and happy sunflowers and a bar of expensive chocolate._

_"What are these for?" she eyed him suspiciously._

_"To say thank you for saving me and also in the hopes that you'll join me for dinner."_

_"Oh give me a break." she muttered thrusting them back into his hands._

_"What?"_

_"Sirius I'm not some 15 year old school girl you can impress by buying a slab of honeydukes finest the size of her head. And dont get me started on the flowers. Sunflowers, really? Could you find a more obnoxious plant, although I suppose they are apt. I could view them as an extension of your personality. Shove them up the highest part of your-"_

_"Healer Meadowes to ward 49."_

_"I have to go, I have work to do."_

_"Well, how about a quick shag then?"_

_A quickly muttered spell and the three sunflowers he was holding began to grow out of the side of his head._

_"I'll take that as a no then."_

_"Don't ever bother me at work again." she glowered before taking off to attend to her patient._

_ APW_

_James had laughed himself silly when he saw him and only stopped long enough to take a picture, because really who'd believe him without proof?_  
_Peter had been the one to find the counter hex and gotten rid of the blasted flowers._

_"No offence mate, but you did ask for it."_

_"Yea I know, cheers Pete." he sighed dropping gracefully into one of the kitchen chairs. "I just don't know what to do. I did the whole flowers and chocolates thing. Girls like that, right?"_

_"Can't help you only girl who caught my attention for more than ten minutes turned me down for six years"_

_"Maybe you shouldn't have insulted her after she turned you down" Lily suggested leaning against the counter grinning like a chesire cat._

_"My mum was always watching those old black and white films. Why don't you try serenade her. It always seemed to work for them." Peter piped up._

_"Wormtail you are a genious!" Sirius sat up after a few moments contemplation. "Do you have a guitar?"_

_"Well yea, can you play?"_

_"No, but how hard can it be?"_

_ APW_

_Five hours later and Sirius still hadnt mastered the few chords it took to play "Stand By Me"._

_"Just aswell mate, if she heard you singing she'd deffinatly run for the hills," James had pat him on the back. "Stop trying to impress her. Trust me on this one." He just nodded. He'd think of something ingenious later when he was on his own._

_The next day when he was due to meet Remus for tea he still hadn't thought of anything. He was willing to admit, however, that he had been a complete idiot and that he was probably better off staying clear of Dorcas for the time being. That was until Remus smashed his nose and he had no other choice but to go get it fixed._

_He sat in the waiting room, a small bag sitting in his lap._

_"I thought I told you to keep away?" a harsh voice to his left made him wince as he turned to face one very pissed off mediwitch._

_"Sorry, emergency."_

_"Wow Black, who broke your nose? I'd love to know who to address the flowers to."_

_"It was Remus and I think he'd prefare chocolate." he joked feebly._

_"Episky. Why did he break your nose?" she asked in barely contained laughter as she checked her work and cleaned him off._

_"Slight misunderstanding. He thought I was hitting on Blondie."_

_"The singer?"_

_"No the squirrell."_

_"I'm sorry, what?" she asked completely perplexed._

_"Long story."_

_"All fixed." she muttered to herself more so than him._

_"Thanks. Oh before I forget" he handed her the small bag in his hands. "Cockroach Cluster. They used to be your favourite when you were younger. Just cause I know you really didn't want to see me and would love nothing better than to break my nose again."_

_She looked at him amazed and gave him a small chuckle. She hadn't had them in years. She waited until he had reached the fireplace before making up her mind. "Sirius! I get off work at 8. How about that drink? And you can tell me all about the squirrell that stole Remus' heart."_

_He nodded dumbly. He really would have to thank Moony somehow. Maybe a slap of Honeydukes finest, the size of his head._

_**I had to give them a little bit of fluffyness xD...just a quick question...when exactly did Sirius Black become a sexy ladies man? It boggles the mind sometimes ...**_


	8. Some scars run deep

Hey so I got home a little earlier than anticipated. Family emergency. So get ready for a ton of updates while I try to keep my mind off things.  
Also dedicating yet another chapter to colin who, even though he's in (bloody) Bournemouth, still manages to pick me up, dust me off and get me smiling...right before he pisses me off again. God I miss him!

This chapter takes place after a lot of the pictures that are still to come. But I felt in a somewhat morbid mood. Also its not like Sirius to keep photos in a chronological order anyway so blame him!

Disclaimer: This is utterly ridiculous and insulting to J.K. Of course i don't bloody own them!

A sloemn, bloodied and bandaged gropl of people sat around a table glasses raised in a toast as a blond woman lay slumped in an arm chair.

"Who took the picture?" Remus asked averting his eyes.

"You know, I honestly have no idea."

"What happened?" Hermione whispered fearfully.

The ruins of the house were still smoking slightly as the bloodied survivors picked their way through the wreckage. Many of them would need treatment, but they shrugged off the pain for the moment. It was the first time the reality of the situation had truly sunk in for the Marauders. The first time they had directly been affected by the raging war. To say they were shaken would be an understatement.

It had been a relatively simple mission. There were some muggle borns hiding out near the orders headquarters and Dumbledore had sent Gideon and Marlene to check up on them. They had left the safe house in high spirits laughing and joking, Remus squashing the green eyed monster who seemed to plague him more than Moony did lately. He had kissed her goodbye, promising to have dinner waiting for her when she got back.

The meeting wound up and the order members still present chatted happily amongst themselves. Dorcas had just been inducted and Sirius was busy promising her she's fit right in. Fabian and Emmeline were having a heated debate with James over the latest results of the match while Remus helped Lily cook lasagne for ten. It hadn't even been half an hour when the weak, shapeless patronus found its way into the dining room. A simple message in her dulcet tones. "We've been ambushed."

As quick as a flash the dining room emptied. Silvery patronses making their way off in every direction. Remus locked eyes with Sirius before rushing out the door. This was it. Their first battle. The house was eerily quiet from outside. Shaking, Remus approached the door first taking a ragged breath. A hand on his shoulder making him yelp and cast a random hex in surprise.

Sirius glared as he stood up. "You're bloody lucky that missed."

"You shouldn't sneak up on people!" he admonished before resuming his staring of the door.

"Ready?" Sirius gulped, his voice cracking slightly. He gave a small nod gripping his wand tighter.

"REDUCTO!"

They blast their way through the door coughing slightly as the pile of dust was kicked up as they ran through. The air was awash with smoke, dust, shouted incantations and the frizzle of magical energy. Later they wouldn't be able to tell who cast what or even how many people was there. It was all a confusing mesh of noise.

Remus hurtled through the house with someone hot on his tail. Whether friend or foe, he didn't care. He had to find her. It was in the hallway on the third floor that he found the most violent scene of battle. Killing curses, cruciatus, stunners and shields were all flying through the air. The walls were bloodies and the floor littered with boy parts. He called out her name as he start fighting his way through. A large blast sounded nearby and he was pulled out of the way.

"Merlin Remus are you trying to kill yourself?"

"No, I'm pretty sure they'll do that for me."

"She's here!" voice called from a bedroom down the hall.

"James?"

"No, no. Its the Lochness Monster."

"What the FUCK are you doing here?"

"Where's Lily?"

A much louder blast sounded, closer to them than the previous ones.

"Lets get out of here!"

Remus scooped up the limp form of his girlfriend and ran from the room, Sirius and James shielding them and clearing the way. The downstairs hallway was complete mayhem. A myriad of spells were shouted, red and green beams ricocheting off the walls. The house began to tremble in earnest as they ran. The hallway was filled with the sounds of curses as six death eaters ran to forward. Fabian and Gideon ran down the stairway and began firing hexes.

"Get her out of here," Gideon snarled as one of the hooded attackers fell.

They deposited the unconscious Blond in the garden and hurried back into the throng losing sight of each other. Throwing hexes at any hoods they seen, receiving blows and dishing them out in equal measures, one by one they fell,bloodied and beaten until only seven remained.

The prewetts stood in the middle of a circle of five death eaters. Two of them, having lost hoods instantly recognisable. All still, waiting to see who would make the first move. Avery and Dolohov, wearing matching malicious grins opened their mouths and the onslaught began once more. The duel raged on as those who were able to, ran for cover.

No one was sure whether it was a rogue reducto or just the house giving in to the beating it had taken that day. The house collapsed in on itself the death eaters barely escaping as a last avada was cast bend them extinguishing any hope of the two brave soldiers making it out alive.

They recovered the bodies from the wreckage and retreated back to headquarters to be fixed up by Dorcas and Lily. They raised a silent toast to the brave brothers, who had saved so many other lives, by clearing the way for them to escape. Everyone was thinking it, but only one person was blunt enough to blurt out what he was thinking.

"So," He began, black eyes scanning everyone in the room."Who's the spy?"


	9. Man Flu and Angel Soup

Sorry about the depressing turn things took there. I'd love to promise that will be the only one, but lies make baby jesus cry...  
Or Buddah, Allah, Yaweh...hell just whoever you look upto. Me? I'm a Pagan...I worship the sun xD LOVE to Candy because she's awesome and it's nice to know theres at least one person who read this story and enjoys it.  
Oh! and it was Sirius who blurted the question in the previous chapter... sorry if that was confusing xD

The silence was deafening. No one spoke, no one moved to turn the page. The crackle of the fire the only sound, the shadows it cast upon their faces adding to the tense atmosphere. Hermione feared she was breathing too loud and didn't dare make eye contact with either man.  
The door creaked open and the three silent figures jumped at the inrtusion. The batty old house elf stood in the doorway eyeing them wearily.  
"Bring us more whiskey" Sirius croaked then cleared his throat. He poured thre glasses rolling hs eyes when she politly refused and pressed it firmly into her hand with a warning glance.

"To the Prewetts." They raised their glasses and gulped back the burning liquid.

"They were two of the best wizards of their age..."

"Right. Well this night has just taken a decidedly morbid turn. Hermione, next picture please." Sirius poured another glass for himself.

"Remus you look terrible. Was this taken after your monthlies?" she asked horrified at how sickly he looked.

"You even have the kids calling my transformations my monthlies?"

"She's a girl. She gets it!"

"Not really"

"Not the same padfoot!"

"You say tomato I say potato."

"Please stop murdering muggle idioms."

"Anyway Hermione to aswer your question no, I was dying-"

"You had the sniffles!"

"Oh, I get it," she smiled fondly. "You had man flu"

"All set for your big date?" Sirius looked up from the sandwhich he was carefully constructing.

"No I'm dying"

"You look like shit mate." And he did. It was like post transformation Remus, minus the open wounds.

"Cheers."

"What? No witty comeback? No look of disdain? Merlin you really are dying. Would you prefare a buriel or cremation?"

"Fu-Atchew!.. Go to hell Black."

"Try a pepper up potion?" he suggested.

"I have."

"Muggle cough medicine?"

"I have" he vetoed once more.

"Hot whiskey?"

"Does that work?" Remus looked up hopefully.

"Does it matter? You'll be drunk and wont care."

"Not helpful."

"Do you even know who you're talking to?"

"Point taken."

"So, are you going to cancel?"

"Are you mad!"

"Well yes but-"

"I'm not going to cancel. Im going on this date even if I have to be imperiused"

"That could be fun" Sirius eyes lit up with al the posibilities.

"Don't even think about it."

Ten minutes later Remus was slumped beside the bath tub feeling clammy and worse than ever. Sirius leaned against the doorpost frowning. He'd have to call the mediwitch soon if this kept up. HE wasn't exatly sure what to doin this kind of situation. Sure he always visited and helped out after transforations but this was...well, sick!

"Owl her and cancel." he whispered after another bout of dry retching.

"Yea, of course... Or I could always polyjuice myself up and go as you"

"Not funny. I will puke on you."

"OK, ok...lets get you into bed."

He heaved Remus through to his bedroom and wrapped him up waiting til he drifted off before scribbling a quick note to Marlene and took the wireless into the bedroom so he could keep an eye on him. He had just tuned in to the new Hobgoblins tune when there was a light knock on the door. He gave Marlene a small appreciative smile and showed her inside.

"He's in the bedroom."

"Thanks Sirius."

He watched from the doorway as she woke him up gently.

"Hey, how you feeling?"

"Like death"

"I brought soup."

"You are an angel."

She spooned a few bites into his mouth and wiped a sweat soaked strand of hair from his forehead. Sirius made a hasty retreat feeling as if he was intruding on something private. For the first time in his life he could see the appeal of being tied down to one person for the remainder of his life.


	10. I never had a tequila incident

I now, another update xD. Woop!

"Aww!"

"Oh shut up" Remus took the photo album from Hermiones hands and flipped through a few pages before smiling triumphantly.

A worse for wear Sirius and Dorcas were passed out on the table surrounded by empty shot glasses and half a bottle of tequila.

"I swear, I'm still hungover from that night."

He hadn't forgotten about the promise of drinks with Dorcas, but something always seemed to come up at the last minute. A large group of hexed students, urgent order business, their timing was just always off. He was close to giving up when, on a compulsery night out with "The Boys", he stumbled upon her trying to make a hasty get awy from an unwanted suiter.  
Her eyes met his, pleading silently to be saved. He grined easily and shook his head, hardly containing his laughter as he pretended to listen to Peter prattle on about something or other. The slime balls hand wandered further down her back and he was by her side as quick as if he's apparated accross the bar.

"There you are sweetheart, I've been looking all over for you." He slipped an arm around her waist glaring at the idiot beside him.

"You never mentioned a boyfriend." He accused eyeing them suspiciously.

"You didn't give me a chance" she bit back turning into Sirius' embrace. "You took your time." she purred waiting for mr touchy feely behind her to go away so she could laugh it off.

"I'm sorry, I got caught up." His eyes sparkled with barely surpressed mirth.

"It seems to me like you ned a man who'll put you first."

"Is he for real?" He asked Dorcas completly bemused. "Who the hell are you?"

"Micheal Boot, Insurance broker. Now if you don't mind we were having a perfecty lovely conversation before you came over here."

"You're taking the piss, right?"

"So uncouth" he muttered steering Dorcas away.

"I really don't think you should do that." Sirius hissed, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"Who's going to stop me? You?" he laughed heartily as though he didn't quite believe Sirius would dare.

He didn't bother answering, instead he brought his arm back and punched him straight in the nose. "Smarmy git."

He hadn't noticed the crowd that had appeared during the whole exchange and so was thouroghly surprised when the bar man came up to him and politly threw him out on his arse. Dorcas followed him out laughing unabashadly.

"Idiot."

"I was defending your honour!"

"My knight in shining armour." she snorted.

"So, how about that drink?"

"Where, we can't go back in there."

"Back to mine. We're as well supplied as a bar." He winked taking her arm leading her down the street.

"OK fine, but no funny business Black."

"Wouldn't dream of it, Meadowes."

"I never kissed a girl" Sirius grinned.

"Liar!" The raven haired beauty accused taking a drink.

"I knew it!"

"Yea whatever. I never pictured any of the teachers naked"

"Sinistra" he toasted her swallowing the contents of his glass and refilled it while he thought. "I never ran around the grounds of the manor naked"

"I was three! I never went skinny dipping"

"Really? You never went in the lake? I never got caught having "relations" in a broom closet."

"Yea...never caught. Not exactly a saint though were you. I never got caught jerking off in class."

"That was completey uncalled for!"

"You were asking for it" she punched him lightly on the arm.

"Shit, we've run out of firewhiskey." he frowned turning the bottle upside down.

"Well, what else do you have?"

"Tequila!"

"Would you rather hug Snape or see Mcgonagall naked."

"Oh give me Minnie any day over that greasy git."Would you rather spend a day with my mother or Marry Peter?"

"Hmmm...both would be hell. Spend a day with your mother. Would you rather kiss James or Remus."

"Thats just sick!..Remus."

"Really?"

"Well yea, James is my brother in all but blood. Thats incest! Would you rather snog a dog or have really bad sex in the broom closet again."

"You'll never let me forget that will you?"

"Nope. So?"

"Kiss the dog"

"Interesting" he gined leaning over and pressing his lips to hers.

"Oi, Black! I said no funny business."

"It was just a kiss!"

"Yes and thats all you're getting." She lay her head on the table and begn to snore lightly.

"Night love" he whispered kissing the top of her head, lying his head on the table beside her and putting the lights out with his wand.

"I can't believe you lost him Peter!"

"I didn't lose him..he just got away."

"Idiot! You know what he's like. He'd find trouble in an empty room!" Remus was furious. Sirius could be anywhere it could take hours to find him...thats if nothing had happened to him. He shivered slightly and pushed open the door to the kitchen. His frst thought was that they had been robbed. There was empty bottles everywhere, the place was an absolute mess. A loud snore brouht his attention to the table in the corner and he sighed in relief. He was ok.

"Pete?"

"Yea?"

"Get the camera."


	11. What Family Is For

**A.N Sorry for the unannounced hiatus there... I just haven't had the heart to write this past week... anyways here's a short chapter because it just seemed relevant at the minute. Before I finish with the one I really wanted to write, I have a small request. Please say a decade of the rosary...a small prayer...anything really for my aunt and her family at this time.**

**Apologies for the angstyness...yes I'm aware that's not a "real word".**

**Disclaimer: If I name my first child Joanne can I please, please own them for a night?**

Hermione paused to look at the next picture before hurriedly turning the page. She had a feeling they wouldn't like to relive that particular scene.

"It's alright love." Remus assured her turning back the page.

Sirius and Remus were sitting on an old, worn out rug holding each other as they wept. It was their eyes that showed how truly anguished they were.

"Peter always was very peculiar about the pictures he took." Sirius sighed resting a hand on Remus' shoulder.

"Yes, they always seem to be decidedly morbid."

* * _Sirius banged on the door of the bathroom again. "Moony! Moony come on, tell us whats wrong."_

_"How long has he been in there?" James asked, eyebrows furrowed in concern._

_"I dunno he was in there when I got home, that was about three hours ago."_

_"It's as bad as when we found out about his furry little problem..." Peter squeaked._

_"Remus John Lupin open this door!" James shouted finally having had enough._

_"Don't make us call your mother!" Sirius joked, grinning when the sound of the lock turning reached his ears._

_He stood in the doorway tears falling freely, a crumpled piece of parchment clutched in his hand. He offered it to James, who read it aloud for the benefit of the others._

_"Remus,_  
_I'm sorry I'm not writing with good news. It's your mother. The cancer's back and it's terminal. Please come home, I know she'd love to see you. Bea."_

_"I-" James stopped, at a loss for words._

_"Oh Remus. How awful!" Peter wrung his hands,ignoring the death glare he was receiving from the other two marauders._

_He looked to Sirius who had remained silent. He had been close to Maria, it would be wrong if he shut him out now. "Will you come with me?"_

_He gave a tiny nod then walked away to put the kettle on._

_"Can we go now?" He called out nervously._

_"Oh, eh yea." He turned to James biting his lower lip._

_"We'll stay here for when you get back" he promised._

_* * __"I hate hospitals, they always smell like dead people..." He stopped talking. a look of pure horror on his face as he realised what he just said._

_"Its OK Pads. Just relax." He squeezed his best friends hand reassuringly before turning the corner to his mothers ward._

_If it wasn't for his aunt Beatrice sat by the bedside he would never have recognised her. She looked so frail and broken, like a strong breeze could knock her down. Her skin had a sickly yellow tinge to it, and bandages covered her neck. He had only seen her last month, this couldn't be her. He felt a hand on his back urging him forward._

_"It's OK Moony. Deep breaths" Sirius steered him into the seat opposite his aunt. He couldn't believe the change in Maria either. He hadn't seen her in almost a year. Life just seemed to get in the way. He was truely disgusted with himself in that moment for not making more of an effort._

_She had been beautiful. The female version of Remus. Sandy hair, amber eyes, wicked humour, a small dimple that appeared on the side of her mouth only when she truly found something funny. She was the strongest woman he knew, a trait she had passed on to her son._

_Before he had gone to stay with James, the Lupins had taken him in and treated them like a son. After that he always made sure to owl them once a week. It was comforting to know how much love there truely was outside of his own childhood John died, he knew a little of herself died with him, but she carried on living in his memory all for the sake of Remus._

_She looked up and smiled a little. "My two faourite boys, to what do I owe the pleasure?"_

_"Oh mum..." Remus clutched her hand to his heart._

_"Hello Maria." Sirius smiled uneasily. He had no idea how to act._

_"Stop fussing Remus love."_

_"I thought you were clear?" Sirius asked perplexed planting himself at the end of her bed._

_"We all did."_

_"Does it hurt much?"_

_"A little. Nothing compared to what you go through though ducky." She smiled affectionately at her son._

_The nurse came over and quietly told them visiting hours were over, her patient needed rest. They promised to go back in the morning._

_* * *_  
_Worn out they had returned to the apartment to find James and Peter passed out on the couch._

_"Isn't there anything you can do?" Sirius had asked._

_"It's too far advanced. And even if I could, I'd doubt she'd let me."_

_He nodded. She wanted to go be with John. Put an end to all the suffering and worrying. Finally be at peace. They had gone to bed straight away and Sirius was just beginning to drift off when he heard it._

_A knock on the door followed by a heart wrenching scream. He threw off the covers and ran to the living room. Beatrice stood by Remus shaking sightly at his reaction. He didn't need to ask. He threw himself down on the floor, gathering his best fried into his arms. He fought him first, clawing and punching trying to wrestle his way out of his grasp. With a deep shuddering breath he slumped in Sirius' arms, tears and sobs overcoming his body. Sirius felt his own tears fall but didn't bother wiping them, not caring who seen. Maria's death was a tragedy, but seeing Moony in this much pain made him want to die too._

_They didn't pay attention to the others in the seen the flash of the camera or the angry shouts of James. Just sat cradling each other through the tears until they exhausted themselves and fell asleep. James, feeling uncomfortable, levitated the two boys into their beds then returned to the couches. His brothers were hurting right now, but he'd be there to help pick up the pieces in the morning. Thats what famly was for._


	12. Family, bigots and love

**I'm sorry...I really needed to get that last chapter out of my system. I promise, no more of that for a while!**  
**Love as always to Candy...and no its not creepy...I love to be loved haha!**  
**I'm also dedicating this chapter to Candy because of her dancing accident...we've all been there!**

**Disclaimer: I didn't own it when I started this fic, I don't own it now and I havn't a hope in hell of owning it anytime in the future...this is tedious and depressing! .**

**APW**

The next picture just screamed mayhem. It showed a room full of people, sat around a large table, in uproar.  
Sirius was standing shouting at a rather beefy man who was purple in the face, Remus looked as if he'd like nothing better than the ground to swallow him up. There was mash potato flying through the air and overturned tables scattered around the place.

"What in Godrics name happened?"

"Our eh Family dinner" Sirius glared at the beefy man.

* * *  
_"Remus, are you awake?"_

_"No."_

_The lycanthrope snuffled and just when she thought she was actually going to have to hex him awake, his arm shot out and she found herself being dragged back into the bed. His heavy arm slung across her waist and he threw a leg over her thighs, effectively trapping her beneath him._

_"Sleep," he mumbled into her ear, rubbing his nose further into her platinum waves, finding a comfortable position._

_"I can't"_

_He sighed and cracked open an eye. "Penny for your thoughts?"_

_"Remus are you ashamed of me?" she hugged her knees to her chest._

_"Blimey where did that come from?" he sat up rubbing the sleep from his eyes._

_"I don't know, just thinking I guess. I mean... I havnt even met your mother."_

_"I havnt met your family either, are you ashamed of me?"_

_"No... im just-would you like to meet them?"_

_He thought about it for a moment. He had never once considered it, in all honesty."Yes, I think so."_

_"What if we all went for dinner?"_

_"How about I cook?" he offered._

_"That sounds wonderful."_

_* * *_  
_Saturdy fternoon found him sitting in James and Lilys kitchen having a light lunch and a quick catch up._

_"Aww Remus, that sounds sweet." Lily pat his arm affectonatly._

_"Incidentally can you cook anything other than spaghetti bolagnaise?" James called from the fridge._

_"Eh Lasagne?"_

_"You can't serve them Lasagne!" She was scandalised._

_"But it's all I can cook!"_

_"Ask Molly to help."_

_"No. Please Lily?"_

_"Alright,alright. How about chicken?"_

_"So Sirius, planning on bringing Dorcas home to meet the family?" Peter piped up._

_"Not a hope, I'd rather eat flobber worms than eat with either of our families."_

_"I find that offensive." ames glared taking a bite out of his sandwhich._

_"I meant those other nutters. I didnt know you wanted a formal introduction Prongs. How about it Moony?"_

_"No."_

_"No?"_

_"No. I need everything to be perfect. Your being there completly defeats the purpose."_

_"Oh come on Moony, Dor will be there. She'll make sure I behave"_

_"You don't even know the meaning of the word." He looked up from the recipe book amused._

_"Sure I do, it means dont do anything to mke dear Remus' head explode."_

_"oh go on." James urged._

_"God help me."_

_"Yes!"_

_* * *_  
_The night started off well. Pleasentries were exchanged and they all settled down to eat Lilys delicious meal, conversation flowing lightly. Remus looked around the room pleasently surprised at how well things were going._

_"Cinnamon you say. And that will make my cocoa taste more Christmassy?" Sirius was staring at Maria intently._

_"Theres no way the Wasps are going to top this year. Its all about the Magpies!" James and Peter were having yet another heated debate about quidditch._

_"What do you mean my education was substandard?" Lily sounded merely shrugged and went back to her dinner. He turned his attention quickly to the conversaton beside him between father and daughter._

_"I know it's idiotic to intentionally stand in his way, but someone has to stop him." Marlene enthused taking a bite of chicken._

_"Why must it be the young?"_

_"I belive it's because we still think that we can change the world." Remus joined in._

_"You belive different?" Mr. Mckinnon turned to him in interest._

_"There will always be those who seek power to corrupt and manipulate."_

_"And you belive you are the ones to stop this?"_

_"It's better than sitting round and doing nothing." He took a bite of the chicken. Lily really was a wonderful cook._

_"You'd rather be killed for a fools cause?"_

_"Peace isnt a fools cause. It's what we all must work towards."_

_"So you're going to war, for peace?" he looked amused._

_"Sometimes it's the only way."_

_"Meet violence with yet more violence?"_

_"When neccessary."_

_"You intend to kill?"_

_"No, I intend to survive." Remus clarified, his dinner left forgotten._

_"So you're saying if a vampire or werewolf were to attck you wouldn't kill it?"_

_"I should say he wouldn't be in his right mind." He smiled faintly into his goblet._

_"When would he ever? He's an animal. Vile, disgusting vermin, with not a shred of humanity-"_

_"That's enough." Sirius stood glaring at the beefy man. He reminded him of a pig in a wig...a bit like Lilys brother in law._

_"It's ok Sirius." Remus shook his head._

_"No, Remus. It's not."_

_"You're defending these agent of darkness?" The whole table was watching them intently._

_"They get a bit tetchy once a month. So do most women and you wouldnt call them vile."_

_"Thats different"_

_"Not by much." he muttered darkly._

_"They are vermin, they should be shot as soon as they are btten."_

_"Some of them are just children!" Sirius all but roared._

_"What does it matter, they will never live a normal life."_

_"Oh shut up you horrible old biggot. One of the best men I know is a werewolf. He's loyal, intelligent, hard working and decent. Which is more than I can say about once a month he goes a bit mad, the rest of the time he's perfectly normal. I thought when I left home, I left behind this backward way of thinking. It's sad to see how predominant it still is in society."_

_"It's reality boy."_

_"No it's your version. I'd like to think mine is more tolerent and understanding."_

_"You're nothing like your family." He looked at him disappointed._

_"And thank Godric for that. Now leave my home before I hex you."_

_"I don't need this abuse. Come Marlene."_

_"Remus I-" She stood staring at him with tears in her eyes as she turned to her father._

_"Just go." he hissed darkly before grabbing a bottle of firewhiskey and storming into his room._

_* * *_  
_"I'm such a fool." He whispered._

_"No mate your not. We all though she was different." Sirius was livid. How could she do this to him?_

_"I just want to die."_

_"Now now, enough of that."_

_"I don't deserve her. He was right! I'm not human I should be shot-Did you just bitch slap me?"_

_"It was the only way to get you to shut up. Now listen and listen good. I meant every word I said tonght. You are the best person I know Remus. He is the animal. Bigoted prick. Now come on. We're ging to go and get nice and drunk and forget all about tonight. Screw her!"_

_"Yes, screw her!"_

_Sirius grabbed both their coats adwrenched open the door. The blond on the otherside of the door stared at him, obviously scared witless._

_"Marlene?"Remus peered around him._

_"Remus I-"_

_"You what? Forgot to reove your knife from his back when you left?"_

_"I deserve that." She sighed._

_"And more."_

_"Yes..and more."_

_"Whats with the bags?" he finally spoke._

_"When we got home...I was just so angry.. I hexed him then packed my bags. I should have done it on the spot and I'm so sorry Remus, I'll never forgive myself. But you've got to know. I Love You."_

_"You...Love me?"He stared at her completly confused._

_"Yes!"_

_"Really?"_

_"Really!"_

_"Wow... thats...thats really...wow. I Love You too!"_

_"I know this is rather presumptious of me...but...could I move in?"_

_He nodded dumbly and picked her up in his arms ignoring her bag n the ground. This was just amazing._

_"Oi! Moony! Where are you going? What about drinks? You know you're really too forgivng for your own good. Moony what are you doing?"_

_He wasn't sure but he thought he heard the muttered words "screw her" as he slammed the bedroom door shut behind them._


	13. Fever Night Fever Night Fever

**Thanks to Candy for her great review...had me wetting meself laughing while reading it!**  
**I think I've been a little bit too serious for the last couple of chapters...So here is some sillyness just for the hell of it!**  
**On a completely unrelated topic...who else loves cruel intentions? xD Also...Happy Fathers Day everyone...even if you don't get along with your dad, show some love for all the father figures in your life. So Huge hugs and kisses to (gran)da and Michael, Words cant describe how grateful I am for all you do for me. Love you. xXx I didn't actually realise til now the father bashing chapter I uploaded on fathers day... apparently my subconscious is more aware of the date than I am xD**

**Disclaimer: I will get a puppy and I will name it Sirius...then he'll be mine...kind of...**

Hermione stared at the picture, shook her head and rubbed her eyes and looked again. Nope it wasn't her eyes. "What in the name of god are you two doing!" She held it up to the two mortified marauders before her.

"I can explain.."Sirius started, it seemed to be a built in reaction.

"Oh please do!"

"It was the 70's!" Remus chimed in.

"Everyone was doing it!"

"And that's your best excuse?"

She grinned staring at the picture of two very uncoordinated Marauders and their beautiful partners "dancing" in a roller disco.

* * *  
_"Moony darling, there you are!" Sirius glided into the room smiling like a loon._

_"No." He returned to the book he was engrossed in._

_"What do you mean no? Can't I just say hello?"_

_"No, you can't."_

_"Fine." He sat in the chair opposite Remus and just stared. After a few long drawn out moments he could no longer ignore his spoilt brat best friend._

_"OK Sirius, what do you want?"_

_"We need to pay the girls more attention."_

_"What do you mean?" he asked completely perplexed. Had they said something?_

_"They're friends now." Sirius muttered darkly._

_"And why is that a bad thing?"_

_"Because they'll start ganging up on us unless we keep them sweet."_

_"That's ridiculous!" His roommate was insane._

_"Moony...I didn't want to tell you this."_

_"Tell me what?"_

_"They stole the last of your chocolate."_

_* * *_  
_Half an hour later they were wandering around muggle London trying to pick an activity. Sirius wanted to do everything that was suggested but took an almost indecent delight at the last offering from Marlene. Roller Disco._  
_The rink wasn't too busy on the Sunday afternoon and Sirius looked around at everything in amazement._

_"You know, I was never allowed roller skates. My mother thought them terribly common."_

_"You've never skated before?" Marlene looked at him incredulously. This should be fun._

_"No, but how hard can it be?"_

_* * *_  
_"I'm not sure about this" he clung to the rail in desperation, his feet flailing about beneath him._

_"You'll be fine once you get going!" Remus soothed._

_"Look, Dorcas can do it." Marlene smiled trying to pry his hands away._

_"Good for her."_

_"Sirius, let go of the barrier."_

_"No!"_

_"Come on, we'll all hold hands so that no one falls."_

_"Promise?" He asked in a quiet voice._

_Remus smiled "Promise."_

_"But first, we deffinately need a picture of this." Dorcas grinned handing the camera to a nearby skater._

_The all huddled together arms wrapped around each others waists, until someone bumped Sirius accidently and they all fell like dominos._

_"I don't think I like roller disco." Sirius grunted lying motionless on the ground._


	14. In The Dog House

**Seems like I've been picking on Remus an awful lot lately...I suppose it's only fair that I give sirius the same treatment. Tear xD**

**Disclaimer: Yes, it's true! I own the whole HP universe! Jealous? =P jk i'm a broke student living at home with the 'rents xD**

**So...who wants to go halves on a pair of marauders? ^^**

"Aww when did you get a puppy?"

"Hermione that's me." Sirius chuckled.

"Your in a doghouse."

"Both literally and figuratively." He nodded.

xXx

_The peaceful air in the apartment was shattered once more as a livid Dorcas stormed out of the bedroom she currently occupied with Sirius. "You're such an idiot Black!"_

_"What's he done now?" Remus sighed from the kitchen._

_"You're taking this all wrong!" Sirius pleaded trying to get her to see sense._

_"No, I'm not. He just called me fat!"_

_Remus and James looked at him in shock._

_"I did not just call you fat!"_

_"You said I have a big ass!"_

_"I said I love your big ass!"_

_"Same difference."_

_"Is it that time of the month already?"_

_SLAP._

_"Fuck you, you arrogant son of a bitch" she whispered and stalked out the front door._

_"Mental."_

_"Jesus Pads I knew you had a big appetite, but both feet?"_

_"Really Padfoot, do you know anything about women?" James shook his head utterly bemused._

_"She asked me did she look fat, so I looked and-"_

_"You never look. You just answer. It's just a reflex. "Do I look fat?" Nooo! "Is she prettier than I am?" Noooo!"_

_"And you just brought up her reproductive cycle in front of your friends." Remus added putting on the kettle. "You have some serious grovelling to do" he added placing a cup of tea in front of him._

_"Any ideas?" he asked James, desperate to make it alright again._

_"Of course, I'm the king of apologies!"_

_"This can only end well." Remus rolled his eyes and left them to their plotting. It would be far more entertaining if he didn't know how they were going to screw it up first._

_xXx_

_"Appologise in puplic, she's less likly to make a scene that way." James had suggested._

_He waited until she was on her lunch break the next day before going to track her down. She would be a lot less likely to hex him if she had time to calm down a bit first. She made her way to the greasy spoon cafe across from St. Mungos and he followed her inside quickly._

_"Dorcas, can we talk?"_

_She glanced at him briefly before returning to her perusal of the menu. "I've absolutely nothing to say to you Black. I'm surprised you even want to be seen in public with such a fat slob."_

_"I'm sorry you feel that way." he sighed picking up the other menu._

_"Excuse me? Don't you dare put this on me! Blaming the person you're ostensibly making amends to for getting rightfully pissed off at your horrendous behaviour? Real mature Sirius."_

_"Your blowing this completely out of proportion."_

_"If you're not sorry for your actions, don't apologize." She stood up. She suddenly wasn't very hungry anymore._

_xXx _

_"Tell her how your mother screwed you up. And do it in a letter. Chicks dig letters."_

_So he had sat down at his desk with various pieces of parchment and got to work. It was a lot harder than he had expected. How the hell would he start it?_

_"Dorcas."_  
_"Dear Dorcas"_  
_"meadows"_  
_"Hey Dor"_  
_"look i"_

_No...none of that would do. He paced up and down his room. Then went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of firewhiskey to help the inspiration flow. The familiar burn ran down his throat to his stomach and he start scribbling in earnest._

_He finished the bottle and the letter almost simultaneously. he'd just rest his eyes a moment and then he'd send it..._

_Remus came in after a few hours to make sure he was still alive. He smiled at the sleeping Sirius He looked so innocent in his sleep. He read the letter on his desk and grinned ruefully. He really was a dolt. Never the less he tied the letter onto pegasus' leg and watched him fly off. This one would certainly be interesting._

_"How his tragic childhood left him ill-equipped to deal with obligations. And the rest of the parchment was just stick figures of the two of us"_

_He stumbled into the kitchen looking in vain for a hangover potion, completely ignoring the head in the fireplace talking to Remus._

_"Anyway, when he wakes up properly tell him he has an appointment with a psychologist later."_

_xXx _

_He had stupidly listened to Remus and went to the muggle head doctor..head case was more like it. He had him try to make pictures out of blobs of ink...and they had the cheek to call him nuts? All because Remus seen fit to send his drunk ramblings to Meadowes. He was going to kill him slowly when he got his hands on him. He was shook out of his musings when he quite literally bumped into Dorcas._

_"Sorry" he muttered._

_"Are you really?"_

_"Yes! Merlin Dor, I've been running around like a mad man, writing letters and soppy poetry, seeing muggle nut jobs and going over everything in my head over and over again. I was an idiot!"_

_"Yes, you were."_

_"I know I'm still in the doghouse here but you've got to forgive me-you must!"_

_"And why's that?"_

_"Because I love you! Please I'll do anything."_

_An evil glint entered her eyes. "ok, on one condition."_

_xXx _

_SNAP_

_"I never thought I'd see the day, Sirius Black whipped." Peter grinned sitting in the grass by the doghouse Dorcas had erected in the back yard._

_He growled playfully rolling his eyes._

_"So this is your punishment?" Remus grinned sitting down and scratching behind Padfoots ears. He purred contently with his head in his lap._

_"Hey! No playing with the dog." Dorcas glared from the doorway._

_"How long does he have to stay this way until you forgive him?" Remus asked as he took a seat in her kitchen._

_"Oh I've already forgiven him. But as a dog he can't talk and screw it up again."_

_xXx_

"I told you she had a evil streak" Sirius grinned fondly.

"Not as bad as yours" Remus frowned looking at the next picture.

Sirius let out a bark of laughter "You're not still sore about that!"


	15. Swans, Ice Cream and Kisses

**Sorry for the lack of updates life got in the way and I'm still trying to come down off my amazing high from the concert. Green Day kick ass! xD...who wants to come to Venice with me to see them again?**

**Just some sillyness to try get me in the mood for writing again xD**

**Disclaimer: Things I own: A Tr Cool drumstick, a camera full of memories, two of the best girlfriends I could ever ask for and a severe fear of the stage xD Things I don't own: Sirius, Remus, Dorcas, Marlene, A bar of Honeydukes chocolate or a (working) wand**

Hermione couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up and erupted at the next photograph. A smug, ice cream covered Sirius was kissing he horrified werewolf in the middle of a park.

"I still can't believe you ate Fred." Remus glared at his remaining best friend.

"And I still can't believe you turned me into Charlie the fucking unicorn."

xXx

_It was an impossibly hot day and Sirius was getting restless cooped up inside._

_"Moony! I want to do something!"_

_"You could try cleaning up the mess you made at breakfast." he answered not looking up from the report he was writing for Dumbledore._

_"You're so boring. Take me for a walk!"_

_"Sirius, you're becoming more and more like that blasted dog every day."_

_"So...?" he prompted, knowing he'd get his own way in the end._

_"No, I have work to do."_

_"Oh come on just half an hour."_

_"You're not going to let me do a thing until I do, are you?"_

_"Nope." he smiled taking hold of his arm and apparating them away._

_xXx_

_Hyde Park was full of loved up couples and families out enjoying the heat. After apparating with a soft "pop" to a little cluster of trees, Sirius walked out stretching his arms over his head and turning his face towards the sun. They were receiving odd looks and secret smiles for a few minutes before Sirius copped what was happening._

_"Remus, I think they think we're poufs." he whispered to his friend_

_"Oh Sirius, don't be so silly." he smiled coyly slapping him on the arm._

_"What?" he was confused._

_"No one minds what we're up to...we're just keeping to ourselves enjoying this BEAUTIFUL day!" He practically sang._

_"What the bloody hell has gotten into you?"_

_"You dragged me out here, now I want to go home." he hissed._

_Never one to back down from a challenge Sirius grinned and took Remus' hand in his. "Ooooh lets go see the swans! They are my absolute favourite!" he dragged him off in the direction of the pond and stood smiling and squealing "fabulous!" at the top of his voice._

_"Ok, you've made your point, now can we go?"_

_He sighed dramatically and let go of his hand. "You know Remus, I'm getting awfully tired of this. One of these days you'll have to come out or risk losing me."_

_"I think I'll take that chance."_

_"Ouch. You cut me real deep just there. Just go."_

_"Sirius-"_

_"No, no! I don't want to hear it. Leave me alone."_

_"Fine! Ok I'm sorry you daft man."_

_"Not good enough."_

_Remus cast around for an idea, completely put out that his plan had come back and bit him in the ass. "How about an ice cream?"_

_"It's a start."_

_xXx_

_Remus paid for the 99 and screwball then looked around for Sirius._

_"Over here!" He called waving from a picnic blanket belonged to James and Lily._

_"Fancy seeing you here." Remus grinned handing Sirius his screwball._

_"We were trying for a romantic picnic."_

_"Then your dog showed up." Lily glared._

_"I resent that." He smiled completely unaffected. He took Remus flake out of the ice cream and took a bite before replacing it._

_Moony looked at his ice cream devastated."I can't believe you just did that."_

_"What?"_

_"You took a bite out of my flake."_

_"yea but I left you half!" the animagus argued._

_"But you bit the good half!"_

_"So? Just dip it in the ice cream."_

_"It's not the same." Remus whined looking at his desecrated flake._

_"Whatever. We're even now."_

_"No, now we are." he smiled wolfishly as he stuck the ice cream cone to Sirius' forehead._

_"You're going to regret that." he growled grabbing his best friend by the shoulders and kissing him soundly._

_SNAP_

_"Honestly, I can't take you anywhere." Remus coughed when he pulled away. He ignored the shocked silence of the two lovers beside him as he start mopping the ice cream from Sirius' head affectionately._

_"Oh please. You know you love me."_


	16. Grand Theft Auto

**A.N...so eh hi *waves shyly* I'm so so so so so sorry I haven't written a chapter in well...a lifetime! Life has been hectic... its awesome! xD**

**Disclaimer: No I don't own either Sirius or Remus...I do however own a very nice tan and a camera full of random drunken pictures that make no sense whatsoever xD**

Hermione winced at the mangled car in the next picture. It was wrapped around a tree like a pretzel. Remus was pulling at his hair and shouting at a stunned Sirius while James was doubled over with laughter.

"Ah yes. Sirius' first and last driving lesson."

"I would have been fine if you hadn't kept shouting at me." he accused.

"I wouldn't have been shouting if you weren't driving like a mad man."

"Well I'm sorry but we all can't drive like we've got Miss Daisy in the backseat."

"And we all know what you'd be doing to poor Daisy on the backseat" Remus grinned.

"That's really sick..even I have standards."

"What about that time-"

"Children! Can we please get on with the story?" Hermione interrupted before the argument got out of hand.

"Once upon a time there was a fairy princess called Remus-"

"Who had to teach the spoilt brat prince how to drive his Chariot..."

xXx

_It was quiet in the apartment. Never a good sign. The girls were both in work and if he didn't think of a way to distract Sirius soon, he was sure he'd hear those dreaded words that meant certain doom._

_"Remus, I'm b-"_

_"Lets go for a drive!" he interrupted before Sirius could finish the sentence._

_"A drive? To where?"_

_"I don't know, we'll just drive until we get an idea."_

_"Ok, but i get to drive!" His eyes brightened and glittered dangerously._

_"Padfoot...you don't know how to drive."_

_"Yes but Peter can, how hard can it be?"_

_"Peter is abysmal! And he took lessons!" He was starting to panic now. Maybe this wasn't his best idea._

_"So, why don't you teach me?"_

_"Me?" He could think of a thousand different scenarios he'd rather._

_"No I was talking to the ghost of Christmas past."_

_"I prefare James actually." He called making Remus jump out of his skin._

_"Do you ever knock?"_

_"I'm family!" he pouted before looking at Sirius and continuing. "We both know Moony is the teacher."_

_"Yes, I'm just hoping he'll realise what a bad idea it is to let us loose in a car unsupervised."_

_"Yes, Moony! You have innocent lives to save!"_

_"I hate you Potter," he glared resigning himself to the inevitable._

_"Love you too babe. Now, who's car are we stealing?"_

_xXx_

_"Ok put on your seat belt. Good. Now depress the clutch, that's the pedal on the left."_

_"You are a useless pedal, no one likes you. You are a freak-"_

_"Sirius what the hell are you doing?" James asked from the backseat biting back the laughter._

_"Depressing the cultchie thingy."_

_"Right, sorry my fault. Ok welcome to driving for dummies. Press the left pedal down. Good and put the gears in neutral. That's this knob just put it here." Remus said slowly demonstrating how to move it._

_"I have to touch the cars knob?"_

_"Sirius!"_

_"Right sorry. Ok what do I do now?"_

_"Turn the key and put the car into first gear."_

_"Like this?"_

_"Excellent! Now take your foot off the clutch slowly and press the right pedal lightly-HOLY FUCKING SHITE SIRIUS PRESS THE BRAKE!" He gripped the side of the seat in terror._

_"what one is that?" Sirius asked looking down at his feet._

_"THE MIDDLE ONE."_

_"Its not working!"_

_"TAKE YOUR FUCKING FOOT OFF THE ACCELERATOR!"_

_"The what?"_

_CRASH!_

_xXx_

_"Sirius you fucking idiot!" He screamed pulling his hair. How were they going to fix this mess?_

_"Excuse me mister intelligent but you didn't say what side the pedal was on!" Sirius shouted back._

_"It's, I.."_

_"He has a point Moony." James admitted._

_"How the fuck are we going to explain this to Peter?"_

_"Lets burn it out and say we were ambushed." Prongs suggested._

_"That's not a bad idea."_

_"Do you think he'd buy it?"_

_FLASH_

_"No I wouldn't. I'll send you the bill for my new car. Have fun boys?" Peter called joyfully from his bedroom window._

_"We didn't even get out of your garden." Sirius pouted at the failed attempt at grand theft auto._

_"So I noticed. Idiots." Peter shook his head before disappearing inside._

_"Remus."_

_"Yes Sirius?" he sighed in resignation._

_"I'm bored."_


	17. This little Piggy

**Ok I'm pretty sure I promised Candy this chapter a while back. Sorry it took forever! xD And sorry it's short!**

**Now we all know by now how useless I am at replying to reviews so I'm dedicating this chapter to everyone who has reviewed...seriously shout at me and I promise I'll reply xD and I've missed a few reviews aswell...god I'm getting worse at it!**

**So: scandaliciousxintentions, anniewildfire, buggie21, tell me this night is over, jinx1995, and an anonymous reviewer...thank you all xD**

**And sorry to disappoint but Sirius and Remus are heterosexuals in this story...they just have a very inappropriate way of showing affection sometimes xD**

**Yes the holiday was fantastic...not at all how I thought it would turn out...blah blah blah long story short..we decided to call it a day...but on the upside...I'm going away again next Wednesday xD Glottal love the girlfriends xD**

**Disclaimer: No I still don't own anything...hell I don't even own my provisional license =[ 1 question off a pass mark how blah is that?**

Hermione looked from the picture of Remus cowering in a corner shielding his man bits from the pig/witch crossbreeds, to her former professor in amusement. "Trouble in paradise?"

"I lived with Sirius, I was always in trouble."

xXx

_"They stole the last of your chocolate."_

_The words echoed around the empty kitchen._

_"Pardon me?" Remus inquired certain he'd misheard._

_"The girls, they ate all your chocolate."_

_"Ridiculous, why would they do that?"_

_"The same reason you go off on your chocolate binges?"_

_"No..." he stood up and paced the floor of the kitchen. They wouldn't do that to him, not this close to the full moon...would they? He had to be sure. He opened the fridge, his slab of honeydukes was gone. He wasn't surprised, that never lasted long when he considered who he lived with. Calmly he opened the press where he kept the biscuits. All his chocolate frogs had disappeared._

_"Ok Remus, don't panic" he told himself as he tore out of the room towards his bedroom, a highly amused Sirius following him._

_He pulled open his sock drawer. "No Twix."_

_The wardrobe. "No Mars bar."_

_The box of musli. Of course they'd leave the MnM's...they barely even counted as chocolate. He looked to his air vent apprehensively. They couldn't know about them..._

_"Accio Truffles"...nothing. "Accio Truffles, Accio Truffles, Accio Truffles!"_

_"Give it up Moony they're gone."_

_"But they can't be gone!" he sank to the floor defeated._

_"I'm deeply sorry for your loss" Sirius placed his hand on his highly neurotic best friends shoulder._

_"Shut up." Remus muttered staring at the carpet in silence._

_"So...revenge?"_

_xXx_

_"Are you sure you want to do this Moony?" He was having misgivings about his original plan. Moony had that light in his eyes, the scary marauder one everyone dreaded seeing._

_"Who's side are you on anyway?"_

_"Ok, but don't say I didn't warn you."_

_"Hey anybody home?" a sweet voice called from the front door._

_"You're on your own." Sirius hissed diapparating with a loud "pop."_

_xXx_

_"Mmmm Remus these chocolates are scrumptious." Marlene sighed leaning back in the sofa to relish the creamy taste._

_"Would you like one?" Dorcas offered holding out the box._

_"Ehm no thank you."_

_"Why not?" She eyed him shrewdly._

_"Yes you never turn down chocolate."_

_"And these are really good. They're almost as tasty as the truffles Sirius bought me last week."_

_"What?"_

_"Truffles...you know chocolate with liqueur-"_

_"Yes Dorcas I'm quite aware of what they are...for gods sake don't eat anymore of them" he cried snatching the box and retreating hastily to the kitchen._

_"What is his problem?" The brunette witch glanced at his girlfriend in confusion._

_"Snout!" she pointed torn between amusement and horror._

_"What?"_

_"You have a snout!"_

_"You don't exactly have a button nose yourself deary." she spat out flabbergasted._

_"No you have an actual snout!" she turned around to grab a mirror._

_"Oh my god you have a tail!"_

_"REMUS!"_

_He was backed into a corner his hands guarding his most prized possession. "I know you want to kill me, but in my defence this was all Sirius' fault!" He would make the animagus pay for this dearly, if he got out of it alive. They were all so focused on the pain soon to be inflicted, that none of them noticed a tell tale flash or bark of laughter from the garden._


	18. Sirius' 18th pt 1

**A.N Hello people...long time no chat :S...sorry just so so so much has been going on! I was in Spain again...it was a disaster! Came home only talking to one of the five people I went away with... but on the plus side I have my job for next summer (WOOOOOO! Who said being young, wild and crazy never got you anywhere ;D ) and I just got accepted into college..I failed my theory test for the second time and my dads wife is pregnant with their first child...like I said busy busy busy! xD...I'll try not disappear for so long again :s any way on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: This is getting old. If I owned even one marauder (Peter doen't count!) I could think of far far more interesting things we would be doing right now =P**

Sirius stood in the now familiar garden holding a bottle of firewhiskey, leaning against a bike looking feint. Dorcas looked like she was being suffocated in his embrace while James looked like he was going to be sick.

"The loves of my life." Sirius smiled tracing his finger over the picture.

"Not Sasha, you really put a picture of her in there?" Remus peeked over into the album shaking his head in amusement.

"Who's Sasha?" Hermione couldn't see any other girl in the picture.

Remus chuckled, "A Monstrosity."

"The most beautiful, one of a kind absolutely perfect-"

"Has Hagrid parted with her yet?" he broke Sirius out of his daydream.

"No, Dumbledore thought it would be a red flag to a bull having her home."

Hermione growled finally losing patience. "Boys! Who in the hell is Sasha?"

xXx

_It was Sirius' 18th birthday and he was determined to make it one to remember. He purposefully avoided throwing a big party when he came of age. If he was going to piss his parents off he'd do a damn good job of it and celebrate his 18th like a common muggle. And what better way to celebrate than to go out with all his friends and get smashed!_

_"Happy Birthday" Dorcas kissed him lightly coaxing him into alertness._

_"mmm." He turned over ignoring her._

_"Sirius wake up."_

_"Five more minutes"_

_"Don't you want your birthday present?"_

_"Do I have to move?"_

_"Yes!"_

_"Bleh"_

_"Fine, I'll send Sasha away so.." She stood up and walked towards the bedroom door._

_"Sasha? You got me a stripper?" He sat up looking insanely hopeful._

_"No!"_

_"Oh..." He lay back down. "Then who the hell is Sasha?"_

_"Get up and you'll find out."_

_"Evil."_

_"Lazy." She poked him leaving him to get up on his own._

_xXx_

_A few minutes later curiosity got the better of him and he got up throwing on an old pair of jeans and T-shirt knowing there was no hope the kitchen would be empty._

_"Oh look sleeping beauty has awoken!" Remus grinned, entirely too bright for first thing in the morning._

_"Your meant to be nice to me today!" he reached for a cup to pour some coffee._

_"After my birthday when you tied me to a tree and vanished my clothes?"_

_"Oh yea...good times." "_

_Tosser."_

_"Love you too." He blew Remus a kiss and threw a wink his direction just as Dorcas walked through the door with James._

_"You know, I worry about you two."_

_"Oh Dor," he sighed shaking his head. "You knew coming into this relationship you inherited Moony and Prongs along with me."_

_"Oh goody, maybe we can all have an orgy later." she rolled her eyes and slapped his arm lightly._

_He caught her around the waist and pulled her towards him. "not bloody likely."_

_"Jealous?"_

_"Damn right."_

_"Come on, lets go meet Sasha."_

_xXx_

_She covered his eyes with her hand and led him into the garden. She knew the curiosity was killing him and was feeling smug, safe in the knowledge he would adore his present._

_"Happy Birthday babe."_

_He stared in shock at the vision before him. "She's my birthday present?"_

_"Yes."_

_"She's beautiful!" He ran his hands gently over her smooth body._

_"Thank you, I picked her from the catalogue myself."_

_In three steps he was in front of his girlfriend twirling her around in circles."She's perfect. I love you! Thank you so much!"_

_"Nice bike." James managed to choke out around a mouthful of muffin._

_Sirius looked at his best friend, his brother completely scandalised."Bike? That's a 1959 Triumph 650 T120 Bonneville!"_

_"With a difference. Normal Bonnevilles don't fly!" Remus cut in giving his best friend a small smile. It was his small contribution to the gift and sincerely hoped he liked it._

_"What!"_

_"You can thank Arthur later just don't dare tell Molly!"_

_"You's are the best, ready to give her a test drive?" He looked up hopeful._

_Dorcas shook her head. She wasn't great with bikes. "Maybe you should take someone else on the test drive."_

_"James?" He tried, knowing he at least had some adrenaline pumping through his veins._

_"Ok, stay out of trouble and stay on the ground, it's bright and a flying motorcycle will bring a hell of a lot of unwanted attention." Remus relayed knowing it was completely useless, they wouldn't listen to a word he said._

_"Me? Trouble? I'm offended."_

_"I'm serious!"_

_"No, I am."_

_"When you're done with your lovers tiff lets go!" James hopped up behind Sirius pulling on his helmet._

_He gave a quick wave and blew a kiss to his two "lovers" then took off down the road._

_"I wouldn't have gotten on that thing if you paid me..." Remus muttered tuning heading back towards the house._

_"Remus!" Dorcas' shrill scream brought him running back._

_"What?"_

_"You never told him how to land!"_

_xXx_

_"Sirius slow down!" James screamed clinging onto his brothers T-shirt for dear life._

_"Chicken!" the bark like laughter floated back him just as the sirens bike started to slow and veer off towards the footpath._

_"What the hell are you doing?"_

_"Slowing down!"Sirius called behind him thoroughly confused._

_"Why?"_

_"Isn't that what you do when the coppers pull you over?"_

_"Sirius you don't have a license! They'll arrest the two of us! Lily will castrate me!" he was in hysterics thinking of having to call Lily to bail him out. That would definitely be the end of them._

_"Ok, hold on." Sirius revved up the engine taking off down the stet making random turns trying to lose the car following them in earnest now._

_"Shit!"_

_"Shit?"_

_"Dead end. We're fucked." He looked left and right tying to find an way possible to get out of the situation the had landed themselves in._

_"Please tell me you're joking?"_

_"Theres only one thing we can do."_

_"I am not handing myself over!" He was prepared to run if he had to. He was not going to prison._

_"No, I meant we have to fly this baby home."_

_"In the middle of the day?"_

_"You got a better plan?"_

_"Do it!"_

_xXx_

_BANG_

_"What the hell was that?" Remus ran to the window while Dorcas threw open the door and ran towards the source of the commotion wand raised. Two figures came staggering out of the cloud of smoke that surrounded them._

_"Sirius, James...are you ok?"_

_"Dorcas, love...can you bring us the strongest liqueur we have?"_

_"But it's not even twelve yet."_

_"My life just flashed before my eyes-"_

_"Jesus, that'd scar you for life." Remus rolled his eyes handing over the bottle of firewhiskey._

_"You have no idea!"_

_"Sirius?" James' small voice called out._

_"Yea?"_

_"I am NEVER getting on that thing with you again!"_

_"Understood."_


	19. Sirius' 18th pt 2

**A.N Hello everyone how are you all? I can't believe the summer is over! That went by so quick its unbelievable!**  
**Anyways I just thought I should point out that the drink James mixes in this chapter is truly disgusting and I wouldnt recommend it to anyone unless you actually want to be as sick as a dog... yes past experience with it... don't ask :P**

**Disclaimer: see previous chapter...and the one before that...and the one before that...and the one before that!**

The picture directly below the one they had just viewed made Hermione blink in confusion.

"I think I've had enough butterbeer.."

"No, you really are seeing what you think you are."

"Sirius?"

"Yes, love?"

"Why in Merlins badly executed combover are you dressed like a fairy princess?"

"It was my birthday." he shrugged.

"And every pretty girl deserves to go to a ball." Remus chuckled into his refilled glass of firewhisky.

xXx

_The rest of the day passed in a drunken blur for the marauders, minus Peter. James, still shaken from their early morning exploits, was taking it as a personal challenge to get his best friends as drunk as he possibly could in a very short space of time._

_"Here we have it boys, the drink of all drinks. This is like the big mac of drinks. The Rolex of drinks! The-"_

_"James if you don't shut up I'll drown you."_

_"Fine. A toast to Padfoot!" he raised his glass._

_"Here, here."_

_Remus took a gulp and spluttered. "Ew that's disgusting."_

_"Be a man and drink up." Sirius frowned. It was his birthday, they had to get drunk._

_"Prongs what the hell is in this?"_

_James shifted guiltily in his chair."I can't tell you."_

_"Why not?"_

_"Because."_

_"James what the hell did you put in my drink?" Remus started to panic now._

_"Now, don't get mad-"_

_"Oh lord."_

_"Ok theres firewhiskey, vodka, tequila and maybe just a little shot of absinthe."_

_"Oh, I thought it was something strange. Bottoms up!" Sirius grinned and knocked back another glass of the revolting mixture._

_"Dorcas is going to kill you." Remus whispered to a triumphant looking James._

_"It'll be worth it."_

_xXx They half dragged half carried Sirius up the street depositing him on his girlfriends doorstep._

_"Friday night and the lights are loooow, looking out for a place to gooooo"_

_The door flung open and a very irate looking Dorcas stood glaring at them dressed in her pyjamas, obviously having being woken by Sirius' off key singing."What in the world?"_

_"YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEN YOUNG AND SWEET ONLY SEVENTEEN!"_

_"Shut up! You'll wake the neighbours!" She took her first proper look at him. "Sirius what the hell are you doing?"_

_"Love! Why aren't you dressed?" he looked at her pj's in shock._

_"What are you talking about?"_

_"You need to get your gown on or we'll be late!"_

_"Remus what on earth is he talking about?" she turned to the one most likely to make sense._

_"I-"_

_"The ball silly!" James grinned encouraging Sirius all the way._

_"Has he completely lost his mind?"_

_Sirius pouted. She didn't like his idea."Every pretty girl deserves to go to a ball"_

_"Come on up you get, go get your gown!"_

_"Could I possibly borrow one of yours?" she asked her clearly insane boyfriend eyeing his pretty pink tutu outfit up and down._

_"No, no completely impossible...Moony made me this isn't it darling!" he twirled around giving her a full view._

_"Honestly Remus." she shook her head exasperated._

_"I...don't really have an excuse. Be happy I didn't tie him naked to the tree in your front garden."_

_"I dunno Remus mate, I think she'd have preferred it." James sniggered._

_"And what do you have to say for yourself Potter?"_

_"Bippity bobbity boo?"_

_"Wrong answer. Goodnight boys." she closed the door firmly and went back to bed._

_Sirius sat on the bottom step looking clearly dejected and close to tears. "She's never gonna go to a ball."_

_xXx_


	20. A Black Christmas

**Holy shit...could it be...why yes...its an update :O Hey people... so ehm how's everyone been? Appologies for my absence... I found another fandom... I feel like I've been having a sordid affair or something... anyway... just something for the holidays enjoy. Merry Christmas... and have an awesome new year!**  
**Lea xXx**

"What in the name of god are you doing to him?" Hermione looked from the picture in shock.

Remus was standing behind Sirius pinning his arms while james hooked a finger in each cheek forcing him to smile.

"He was being snarky."

"Can you blame me?"

xXxXx

_"Happy Christmas!"_

_"Yea? Whats so fucking happy about it?"_

_"Aw come on Pads don't be like that!"_

_It had been the same for the last month. It was safe to say that Sirius Black was not a Christmas person. He hated everything about the holidays. The cold weather shopping for shitty presents for other people, false holiday cheer and goodwill to all men. It was bolox pure and simple. It also didn't help that his girlfriend had a severe case of PMS (also known as Pissed at Men Syndrome) going on. Suffice to say, he was in a foul mood._

_"Piss off Lupin."_

_"Oooooh well someone pass him a tampon and some chocolate so he can go join his miserable girlfriend" James glared from the kitchen table. He was getting sick of Sirius' behaviour._

_"What the fuck are you doing here anyways?" the disgruntled Black all but snarled in his direction._

_"Well I was hoping to spend some time with my best friends, but apparently one of them has been replaced with a **Black** for the next couple of weeks. Owl me when Padfoot shows up please."_

_"Fine. Leave. See what I care!" he growled grabbing his leather jacket and storming out of the house._

_But he did care. For as long as he could remember Sirius had never had a truely great Christmas. He usually spent them in Hogwarts locked in Gryffindor tower, refusing to go back to Grimauld place and the snobby hypocrits who claimed his relation for his "pure blood". They sickened him. Of course James or Remus always offered to let him stay at theirs but it was the one time of year he didnt like to impose. Christmas was for Family._

_He took a few turns around the park eventually sitting himself on a swing in the deserted playground, kicking at the previously undisturbed snow. He knew he was being an ass but he couldn't find it in him to care._

_xXxXx_

_Back at the small shabby house, Remus and James were growing worried. Thy were well used to Sirius throwing the odd strop here and there whenever he didnt get his own way, which wasnt too often, thank god, but this was something else. Something was eating away at their best friend and he wouldnt open up for them._

_"Do you think we should go after him?" Remus threw a worried glance out the window._

_"No let him cool off. You know how he gets."_

_"Yea but...James I think he's depressed."_

_The older boy ran his hands through his hair. "Yea...maybe. But what should we do?"_

_"Prongs...has he ever had a proper Christmas?" Moony pndered to himself putting on the kettle._

_"Fucked if I know Moony."_

_They sat in silence for a few minutes before James finally broke the silence. "So...are we doing this in my place or here?"_

_"Yours...this place is a dump."_

_"You said it not me."_

_"Piss off."_

_xXxXxXx_

_"Padfoot, get your scrawny ass over to Prongs and Lilys. We need to talk."_

_Oh for gods sake. He stared at the note in disgust We need to talk? What was Remus breaking up with him? Was he a woman now? Resigned to his fate he contemplated just showing up blind drunk but realised it wouldn't help matters. Pouting one last time at his immensly shit luck he apparated away to his best friends house._

_"James? Remus?...Anyone?"_

_"Oh good he's here." avoice drifted in from the kitchen before he was faced with two stern looking marauders._

_"Now listen here Sirius Black because we wont be repeating ourselves. You need to cheer up because your mood is bringing everyone else down. Now we realise you've never had much to celebrate, what with your self imposed martyrdom, but god damnit you're going to celebrate christmas with your family and your going to smile!"_

_"My family?" he looked up in horror. They wouldn't..._

_"Us. We're your family pads." REmus rolled his eyes."So come on. Give us that dazzling smile"_

_"What? For a picture? No way Moony your such a woman." he scowled half heartedly._

_"Just the one." James promised._

_"No."_

_"...grab him"_

_The camera was thrown to Lily who watched the struggle completly bemused. "Ok smile"_

_"Happy now Moony?"_

_"Oh shut up and have a drink. Its not Christmas without the irritable drunk relative"_

_"Now youre talking."_

_xXxXxXx_

**Sorry for all the swearing... :S**


	21. Valentines

A.N... Hello... anyone still out there? So ehm hi... hows it going :) I've dropped out of college so i think I'll have more time to write now... Long story... really long lol. Anyway I'm well aware this is late, I've had it written but actually went away for Valentines and didn't get to post it so here we go :)

Disclaimer: I do own Sirius Black :O jk... just a boyfriend that is eerily similar ;)

Hermione stared at the next picture for a few seconds before registering what it was a photo of. A woman's hand pointed daintily towards the camera, a can pulley wrapped around one of her fingers.

"Oh.." Sirius looked fondly.

"What..?"

"Sirius' rebellion against convention."

"Shut up Remus."

"Well it was hardly the epitome of romance!"

"Yea well Valentines is bollocks."

xXx

Red. Everything was fucking red. With hearts. Shoot me, he thought to himself scowling across the breakfast table at the sappy couple currently wrapped around each other. It was sickening. He was seriously considering locking himself in his bedroom for the day, only emerging for food like a gremlin.

"So Sirius. Whats your plans for today, got anything exciting planned for Dorcas?" Marlene smiled sweetly across the table. He was surprised she had extracted herself from Remus' tonsils long enough to ask.

"Nope."

"Oh...are you two fighting again?" the smile quickly turned to a frown of disapproval. Why would she jump straight to that conclusion? They weren't that volatile... were they?

"No, we just don't do Valentines day, " he shrugged nonchalantly... why was he even explaining himself?

"Why ever not? It's a day dedicated to showing the world how in love you are!" He could see Remus smirking from behind his girlfriends back. He knew the annual rant was coming.

"It's a consumer driven holiday designed to keep florists and greeting card companies in business, where single people are ostracised and desperate couples put on a happy front, just to blend in with everyone else. I don't need anyone telling me how or when to love my woman." he banged his fist on the table for emphasis.

"Sorry I asked."

"It's ok love," Remus soothed, "Not everyone appreciates romance."

"I know," she sighed happily gazing around the kitchen overrun with flowers, chocolates, balloons and stuffed animals and all the other assorted crap that came with the blasted day.

"Bleh. If you'll excuse me I have a rather meaningful date with my bed."

"And your right hand." Moony chimed in happily.

Sirius threw them one last disgusted look before slamming the door and locking himself in his room. Valentines... what a joke.

xXx

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

"Why, what the old bat do now?" he looked calmly up from his place on the sofa placing his can of heniken on the shabby coffee table. He was way too used to people bursting through the door and cursing him out to even bat an eye.

"What?" Dorcas looked at him completely flustered by the turn in conversation.

"Never mind. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company and dulcet tones this evening?" he smiled charmingly at her.

"It's Valentines."

"I'm aware" he gestured around the flower covered surfaces.

"So.." she prompted gently.

"So?"

"We're really not doing anything?" horror evident in her wide doe eyes.

"Nope."

"But-"

"Look, you're the one who said you didn't want to do anything." he reasoned.

"Because I hoped you'd surprise me" she threw her hands up in exasperation plopping down beside him on the couch.

"You really underestimate how much of a fuck i do not give. It's just another day."

She stared at him in silence for a few moments.

"Fine."

"Fine?" cautious now Padfoot, what is she planning?

"Yes. Fine. You obviously want to break up."

"What?" he ran his hands trough his hair, the woman was insane.

"If you want to break up just tell me, I could still make the singles night down in "The Brew"."

"I don't want to break up with you. Jesus Christ Dorcas I love you!"

"Well it doesn't feel like it sometimes."

She had to be shitting him. What was it with this day that turned even the coolest chick into a needy wreck or bitter harpy...

"I'm sorry Dor, but I'm not like Remus. I won't buy you a florist or bombard you with chocolates. I don't believe in making a big deal out of just one day when i love you all year round."

"Then why can't you do this for me?" tears started to form in her eyes... it was heart wrenching. Why didn't she believe him?

"It's the principle!"

"Since when do you have principles?" he'd let that one slide.

"What do you want from me?"

"Just make me feel like you care." she murmured looking down at the worn carpet.

"You want me to prove how much I love you?"

"Yes."

"Fine. Let's get married."

There, he'd said it. The thought that had been haunting his mind for months. The silence that followed was deafening.

"Are you serious?"

"Yea, why not? I love you or, no bullshit. I want to be with you forever and if this is what it takes for me to keep you well then so be it." he pulled the pulley off his can and slipped it around her ring finger. "Dorcas Adrienne Meadowes, Will you marry me?"

"So you won't celebrate Valentines day but you'll marry me?" she looked at him in utter bemusement.

"Eh, yea..."

"You are so weird." She kissed him happily staring at her finger. "I love you too."

"So...Was that a yes?"

"Yes you moron!"

xXx

"So then he told me he couldn't live without me and slipped this on my finger, you know, so I can choose the ring myself. It was so romantic," she gushed happily to a beaming Marlene in the kitchen over their coffee.

"Padfoot, I never knew you had it in you," Remus pat him on the back still recovering from the shock.

"Moony, you really have no idea." 


End file.
